Fattie: Week 4 (Jen's Mean Lean Green Shake)

We’re in the middle of week 4 of the HASAY Challenge over here at Steenky Bee. Can you believe it’s been almost a month already? Well, I, for one, can not, mostly because I’ve only been following the rules for about eight days total. And I must say, by selectively participating in this challenge has made it much more bearable than if I would have actually stuck to it every day. I mean, can you imagine four whole weeks of sensible eating and exercise? Sure my guilt level is at an all time high, but man, I have been eating some good food lately.

Actually, I’ve been doing the steps and working quite hard at this thing, but just like religion, money and Fight Club, I don’t talk about it. It’s just poor taste. Also, I like to make Casey think I'm a slacker. At the big reveal at the end, I'll be all, "Ha, suckas! I'm skinny!"

We're having a reveal aren't we? I only signed up because I was promised a big reveal finale and a trip to Florida. I don't really care about my health at all. I just want to meet Casey in person and then ride Space Mountain with her at Disney World.

And speaking of poor taste, have I got a killer health shake for you all to try! (BTW: How did you all like that segway? I worked on it for days. I’m actually quite proud of it. However, in retrospect, I can see that I mentioned the word "taste" over two paragraphs ago. Perhaps my segway wasn't too clever after all. Maybe I'm light headed from my recent bought of fever and all the deep-knee lunges I've been doing. (Not at the same time, of course. Now that would be in poor taste.)

Okay, so back to the health shake....if you’re like me, and pray that you’re not, you have a difficult time getting your daily serving of vegetables. Also, if you’re like me, you prefer to call vegetables, "veggies". This shake will help you take care of some of your veggie requirements for the day. I drink one every morning before I leave the house. I am addicted to it. This shake fills you up and is rich in fiber and nutrients. Pinkie swear, it is.

Ingredients:
4 ice cubes
4 oz of water
1 apple (including skin, no core or seeds)
¾ banana or 1 small banana
5 fresh mint leaves
5 large kale leaves (omit the stalks, just tear the leaves away)
1 large handful of fresh spinach

Directions:
Blend apple (cut into chunks with skin still on), water and mint leaves in blender. Add banana and ice cubes next. Last, kale leaves (torn from stalks) a little bit at a time. Finally, throw in large handful of spinach leaves.

Warnings:
1. I guess I should have warned you ahead of time, but this shake is sort of chewy (add more banana if the consistency freaks you out and if you are a giant wuss and can’t chew a shake.)
2. Also, the kale and spinach leaves are extremely tough on the blades of the blender. You can invest in a heavy duty blender that runs upwards of $300 or you could go through four blenders priced at $60 a piece like I have. Who said I’m not money savvy?
3. Check your teeth in a mirror or at least have a very non-judgmental friend near by who will check them for any stray green residue left behind. I’m not saying this happened to me, but someone I know was very embarrassed at a morning marketing meeting when her boss pointed out that she had something green in her teeth at 9:00 am even though she checked the mirror beforehand.
4. This shake is not for the easily disrupted digestive track either. The whole purpose of the Mean Lean Green is to aid in digestion.

So, in summation, if you are afraid of chewy, green shakes, don’t have a reasonably decent blender, are self-conscious about your grooming habits and are prone to the runs...then perhaps this shake IS NOT for you.

All you others, DRINK UP!

Not sure what HASAY is? Click here.

My other Fattie updates can be found here:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3

Overheard At Lunch

Today, Jeremy and I ventured out for lunch. Jeremy left his wallet at home so he needed me for financial support. While we were dining, we couldn’t help but focus some of our attention on a table near us. It was three forty-somethings that worked together or were in a similar industry. Here are just some snippets from their conversation:

Obnoxious man into cell phone: “Hey can you send me one of those Don Juans solo?”
Male Lunch mate: “Your name is Earl?”
Obnoxious man to lunch mates: “Oh, man. My wife’s implants are so much better than that.”
Obnoxious man to lunch mates: Don’t even get me started on HIS hair plugs. Can you say cheap?”
Male lunch mate: “I’m so into edimame right now.”
Obnoxious man to lunch mates: “Will Ferrell is a one-trick pony. I could do half his stuff better.”
Lady companion lunch mate: “I’m just really not in a wasabi phase in my life right now.”
Obnoxious man into cell phone: “Why can’t you get them off?”

After we ripped ourselves away from evesdropping on their conversation, Jeremy and I noticed some friends sitting just a few tables away. We asked our server to send them two glasses of water from us. Here we are thinking we are SO clever.

Dissed And Almost Killed

Friday, Kylee, Jessica, Natalie and me decided we needed some lunch. I can’t go into detail about the events that unfolded because there is just too much information to digest, so, again, you’ll get the Cliff’s Notes version.

Rap thumpin’, uncomfortable eye contact, honking for chaps, so much Marsala, garlic breath, squeezing juicy sweet balls (Jessica said this about her food. It’s not nearly as dirty as it sounds), water theft, dead end roads.

Here’s Kylee as after she makes a death defying u-turn.

Here’s Nat after surviving the death defying u-turn.

Illegal gear shifting, daring u-turns, arms out the window, extreme lane changing, cat-calling Larry, intersection stopping, dissed by the Springer and laughing until our stomachs hurt.

Here’s Jessica trying so hard not to pee her pants after all this went down.

Get a load of what the scariest thing to ever hit the streets of Sugar House looks like.

Do you want to come to lunch with us next time? It will be fun.

No One Cares What You Ate For Lunch

That's right, No One Care What You Ate For Lunch. That’s the title of a book on blogging that I plan to read this summer. I must say, however, I AM oddly drawn to blogs that feature what people eat both at home and when dining out. It’s like some sort of voyeurism. It’s strange, but I actually like looking at pictures of their meals.

Having said that, you may not care what I ate for lunch a week ago, but I have ten friends that DID care what I ate for lunch. In fact, they cared so much, that they joined me for lunch to do a little post birthday celebrating.

Here’s the table of us dining at Tandoor Indian Grill in Salt Lake.


Tandoor is a relatively new find for me, and I am completely obsessed with it. I found it through a friend at work, Pratima, who knows the owners quite well. She originally took a few of the girls in the office, including Sara, in the hopes that the spicy food would induce Sara into labor thus ending the last grueling week of her pregnancy. Unfortunately, Tandoor did not do the trick, but Pratima did introduce us to the most delicious food I have tasted.

Here is Sara, post pregnancy and and after months and months of follow up trips to Tandoor.


That picture doesn't do her justice. She looks like a hard a**. She's really not. She's the kindest person I have ever met.

Let's try that again, shall we?


*Fun Fact* I have asked Sara to become Jeremy's wife if anything should happen to me. Of course, she'd have to leave her husband and overcome all the office gossip that would surely happen since the three of us work together. Just a few hurdles.

Jessica and Lisa (both girl crushes) were there.


Julee and Jackie represented. You can't see her feet, but Jules had on the best shoes ever.


Here’s Pratima and Cole and some random guy in the background.


Did I tell you that her in-laws are coming to stay with her this month? Did I also tell you that they aren’t leaving until January?! Now, don’t get me wrong or anything. I love my in-laws, but if they came to stay with me for six months, it might be a little much. I even mentioned this to my dear Mother-in-law and she agreed and then some. A little too quickly I might add.

Here’s Rozzie, my sweet Rozzie.


She’s a baby haver too and she brought her little Cole along to crash the girl lunch date. Kylee tried to steal Cole at one point, but was unsuccessful. It might have worked better if she hadn’t announced her intentions from the start.

Witness Kylee trying to steal Cole.


Thanks to everyone who came to my birthday lunch. I loved all the fun gifts. But most of all, I loved all the fun company!

Quatro de Mayo

Most folks tend to hold annual Cinco de Mayo celebrations that consist of going out to eat at a Mexican restaurant and ordering a Corona Light or a Margarita. Not our family. That stuff is for Gringos. No, our family celebrates the Quatro de Mayo, a lesser known ethnic celebration, rich in tradition and honor. If you've never heard of such a holiday, let me walk you through some of the basics.

The day starts off with the elders in the village teaching the youngsters wood working skills. Here, Jeremy teaches Henry the fine art of assembling a new kitchen table probably made of some sort of wood indigenous of old Mexico. Notice the fine motor skills Henners exhibits as he uses the Alejandro Wrench for the first time. He's used the Allen Wrench before, but it's Quatro de Mayo, so today we use it's Latin cousin, the Alejandro.


Lot's of patience. Muy bien, muchacho.


Did I also mention that on the Quatro de Mayo, it is customary to use as much third year Spanish, or Espanol, that you remember from high school. Si. All day, Jeremy and I were asking Henry to put on his pantalones and to arriba.

Here, the Elder assists the nino with some detail of the chair.

See how happy the Elder is to have his young son trabajoing next to him. (I can't conjicate verbs too well anymore. I'm a bit rusty.)

Si, feliz indeed.

These are skills passed down from padre to son go back generations. We're pretty sure furniture in a box will be huge during Henry's lifetime.

Back in old Mexico, during the Quatro celebration, the ninos and ninas in the village would hide small colorful toys or handmade candy in the family's living quarters. This was typically done at night while the adults were sleeping. Even historians are baffled as to the origin and it's significance. In modern times, this custom has been adapted to include larger toys, balled up socks, fruit snack wrapers, DVD covers and discarded blankets. Our children left exactly those things for us strewn about our living room floor. Tradition is very important to Henry and Reesie.


Yay! Madre y Padre were so happy to find these "treats". We picked them up knowing that this "mess" was all part of the Quatro experience. Ah, ninos! You are so much fun during the holidays.

Also part of the fun? The stealing of the guacamole. Many think this tradition started out as some sort of tribute to the avacado crops that riped around the first part of February (strangely enough, that is also Super Bowl weekend). Our interpretation included, me preparing the tasty dip and Henry eating as much of it he could in one sitting.

Ah, si, little man. You are definitely muy bien at stealing the guac.

Reesie was unable to take part of the thievery due in part to her age. She just sat near by and gave Henry dirty looks for eating in front of her. As far as we know, this is not a customary practice in Quatro de Mayo. So, good on ya, Reesie for bringing something new to the table.

Instead of guacamole, Reesie ate her new favorite snack, banana puffs. Except for today, we called them puffs de plantane. Ole!

After a short siesta, the familia sat down for a wonderful Mexican meal of homade chile rellanos, garden fresh salsa and meat and chorizo tacos. Also, we put lime, or limon, in our coke. We were so authentic it was awesome.


After dinner, as customary down south on this day, the children played with colorful play-dough balls. Here's Reesie enjoying hers.

Here's Henners using advanced techniques. Clearly, this was not his first Quatro de Mayo.

Donde esta los ninos pantelones?

That last phrase was from pure memory, people! In addition to asking where the child's pants are, I can also ask where the bathroom is, tell you I have a cat in my pants and tell you that my pencil is yellow. I'm a wizard at third year Spanish.

Reesie rolls the amarillo (yellow) dough around in her manos.

She holds it up to her cabeza. (That means head. I forgot the word for mouth)

Mirra how bonita ella es!

Si, muy bonita.

The next part of the celebration consists of feats of strength. This year, to demonstrate his talents, Henry thought he'd drag me down the hall. Henry es muy strong.

For Reesie's feat of strength, she attempted push ups on the floor. She actually did quite well. I didn't document this, but trust us, it happened.

The celebration begins to wind down with the Elders reading the child's favorite book to them. She how the child loves this tradition.

After all the dough playing and reading, the men of the house recline in bed and eat Mexican Angel Food cake. If I'm not mistaken, I believe the official name is Food Cake de Los Angelos.

So next year, if you want to steer clear of all the crowds at Cafe Rio, Baha Fresh or other authentic Mexican eateries on Cinco de Mayo, please visit us for Quatro de Mayo. The lesser known, but perhaps mas fun celebracion!

First Timer And Sneaky Hands

All You Can Eat
Saturday to celebrate Reesie’s 5 month mark we decided to feed her with a spoon for the first time. She took to it like a pro, a very messy pro. Here’s the bowl of rice cereal I lovingly prepared for her.

Here’s Reesie’s face when we showed her what she would be eating.


She had a few minutes to take it all in.


Here’s the very first spoonful! Was it yummy?


Mmm…maybe not.


Check out that rice cereal goatee.


I am full.



I am full and happy.


Now I’m just really happy.


Ahh…I love my bottle.


Who’s Been in the Pantry?
Also on Saturday I noticed the pantry door was open a bit. I had a time lapse camera installed close by and captured these images of the sneaky, sneaky perpetrator.

Notice the steady, but small hand.


Getting a grip now.

Ooops. Lost it.

Slowly open the door to peek inside.

I’m too cute to get caught.