I'm Blogging About a Lunch I Was Invited to Because I Have a Blog

So remember a few months back when I had my first face-to-face meet up with a blogger? Remember how I kicked my shoe off in her face and made her look at a dead cockroach? Well, this past weekend I had my second blogger meet up and I have to say, it went about the same.

The lovely Kristina from Pulsipher Predilections (she’s a big deal, yo) hosted her third lunch for local Utah bloggers to meet, eat and cackle out loud about how hairy David Hasselhoff is. Okay, that last bit about cackling about the Hoff’s hairiness might have only been me.

Anyway, like any other blogger out there who is getting ready for a meet up with another blogger, I was super nervous. Would they like me? Would I make an ass out of myself? Would my hair sit right? I was hoping all signs would point to YES.

I believe there were close to 30 lovely blogging ladies lunching Saturday and everyone was wonderful and so much fun to talk to. When I reached the banquet room at the top of the stairs, I made an immediate bee-line for one of my favorite people, Green Jello from May You Lead An Interesting Life. She claims she saw me first because my poofy hair preceded me by about four seconds. Four seconds, Green Jello? Really? All the rain must have matted my hair down a little. Typically, with weather permitting, my mane has a six second lead on me everywhere I go.

Here’s a picture of Green Jello and me with wide smiles and full bellies.

Here’s Green Jello with admitted lurker and stalker of Green Jello, Val of the South. She blogs over at Livin' la Vida Utah!. She’s awesome. She made me laugh. Then I challenged her to a drag race on I-15. Wisely, Val declined. She claimed she had errands to run. I claim she was chicken.

Here’s Kristina shouting at me that she’ll cut me if I post this picture of her online. Oh Kristina, you are so funny. When you weren't looking I rummaged through your purse and aside from a pair of tweezers and a Kenny Loggins Greatest Hits CD, you're totally harmless.

Here’s a blurry picture of Green Jello, me and the hilarious S of Lady of Perpetual Chaos. (I swiped this image from Kristina's site.)

I’m so glad I was seated near S as I’m pretty sure she could be a stand up comedian if she wanted to. You know how people tell you stories about their children and sometimes you’re all um, yeah….uh huh….okay, are you done now? Well not with S. She had the wittiest way about her and I left wanting to hear more of her tales but I was fearful she would get nervous, call the authorities and have a protective order issued against me if I kept up with all the questions. And folks, I just can’t have another one of those blemishes on my record.

Here’s all the ladies that attended the lunch on Saturday. Kristina and Green Jello both claimed to be giants and quite tall, but, um hello! look where the line peaks at its tallest. It begins and ends with my hair. And if you were paying attention from earlier in this post, you would recall that my hair was matted down from the rain.

One of the more unlikely highlights of the lunch was when two women approached me when they heard that I was a friend of a “famous blogger”. They were giddy like schoolgirls as they probed me with questions about their cyber crush, Captain Dumbass over at Us and Them.

Girls: Are you really friends with him?
Me: If the money’s right.
Girls: Is he really that funny in real life?
Me: No. Not even close.
Girls: (blank and horrified stares)
Me: You know? I don’t even think those are his kids in the photos that he posts. And the bald guy? I hear he’s just one of those stock photography models. No one really knows who the Captain is or what he looks like.

I spent the rest of the lunch dropping his name randomly into conversations in the hopes that my one-degree of separation from greatness would earn me a free pasta lunch, but all the Captain’s name brought me was a second refill on my lemonade.

As a side note: I contacted the Captain yesterday (can you hear the squeals all the way from Utah?) to tell him just how far reaching his fame had become. During the conversation I inadvertently offended him by referring to him as a slightly older, okay really older, version of a Jonas brother, but with way less hair.

The Captain seriously has no idea how big the Jonai or his bald head are in our fair state.

Isn't There A Chicago Song About Inspiration?

Let it never be said again that I do not inspire. Up until yesterday I was unaware that I could inspire anyone. Lord knows I’ve tried. Just last night, I tried to inspire my three year old to take a bath.

Me: I’ll give you candy.
Manster: What kind?
Me: Delicious candy.
Manster: That’s not a kind, Mom. What color is it? Is it orange?
Me: Yes.
Manster: I don’t want the orange. I want the brown.

Wait a minute. Now that I look at that conversation a little closer on my screen it doesn't seem like inspiration at all. I swear in my head that little dialogue didn't sound so bribey.

So, what I really want to drive home is that Henry eventually did take his bath, and that not last night, but the night before I did inspire someone. Behold the following link to Us and Them. Pay attention to the comment section. Then lookie here to see how Captain Dumbass (he prefers to be called that, for realsies) holds good on his cyber word.

I just found the blog, Us and Them by chance this weekend and I fell in like with it after only a few posts. I only had to read two before I decided to bookmark it. However, when I saw this, I fell in LOVE with this blog. It cracks me up every time I look at it. I haven't clarified with the Thems, but I do so hope that one of them is Captain Dumbass and that this picture was, indeed, taken on a typical day in their life.

Inspiration is a funny thing, you know? But Klingons are funnier.

BTW: I tried to repay Us and Them tenfold. I'm afraid I might have only done it 2-ply.