Sweet Pee (Not Sweet Pea)

Yesterday, my son, Henry, did the sweetest thing ever. It was with urine. That's right. (Notice how I didn't put "sweet" and "urine" together in the same sentence? I don't think you're supposed to do that.) (Also, how many people will stumble across this post by Googling "sweet urine"?) (Another also, why so many parenthesis so early in this post?)

Anyway, back to the urine. If I had a dime for every time I've said that before...

Henry, like many males, enjoys peeing outdoors. More importantly, he likes to pee outdoors ON objects. His favorites right now are tires, rocks, off bridges and into a big flower pot in our yard. His peeing on the stray shrub or tree phase passed so quickly.

Those few moments right before Henry has to pee are the wildest. He'll stop whatever he's doing and exclaim, "I have to pee in the pot!" From then, it's a dash out the door, into the yard so he can relieve himself. At first, he was a straight shooter. He'd just aim for the center of the pot and go. Lately, this doesn't give him much satisfaction. He's had to change it up.

Yesterday morning, he grabbed me with excitement and yelped that he had to pee in the pot. We did our thing, running outside, finding his favorite mark. As I stood behind him and watched him go, I noticed his little hips had kind of a swing to them. He was moving back and forth and kind of talking to himself. When he was all finished, Henry called me in closer. "Look, Mommy, I made an 'H' for you."

Although there wasn't a definite "H" scrawled in the dirt, I give the kid props for trying. I teared up a little as I looked at that pot full of pee. I give him high artistic marks, but he still needs work on the execution. I'm so proud of my little man. Him and and his peeing prowess.

P.S. Peeing Prowess would be an awesome album name.

P.P.S. Yes, I took a picture of pee. If Captain Dumbass can snap a picture of a guy riding a toilet, I see no problem with urine.

P.P.P.S. Blissfully Caffeinated has peeing on her agenda lately too.

Where's Mr. Hankey When You Need Him?

So a few nights ago, Jeremy and I had ourselves quite the experience. We spent a good 90 minutes with Henry on the toilet trying to coax a difficult...ahem...how can I put this delicately uncooperative bowel movement from his little body. There, I said it. All day long, Henners had insisted he had to do a number two, but when it came time to actually get down to business, he lost patience and would give up. You should know that we spent most of the day out and about at two separate birthday parties (one that involved a handful of 2-4 year olds in a water fight and the other at a park) so he wasn’t comfortable with his surroundings.

But at 9:00 at night, the smell radiating from the Little Man indicated that it was time for Jeremy and myself to perform an intervention. Note that over the next 90 minutes, the three of us spent an intense, sometimes humorous, often smelly time together in the confines of the guest bathroom.

9:00 Henry first sits on the potty. We let him know that he was home and could relax now.

9:01 Henry quickly loses concentration and asks to sing a few songs.

9:06 Still on the throne. Still singing songs.

9:10 Henry insists that if he takes a bath the BM will come.

9:12 Henry insists that by using soap crayons his BM will come.

9:20 No BM has come.

9:22 Back on the potty. Henry is promised that if he does his business, he can wear his Spidey shirt to bed.

Ten seconds later: A gleam appears in Henry’s eyes.

9:27 No BM. Jeremy and I began to question validity of elusive BM.

9:29 Stench from Henry causes us to retract our question.

9:30 Awkward eye contact between the three of us.

9:32 A second bath request is made. Jeremy and I oblige.

9:51 Henry insists he must pee in the potty.

10:00 Back on the potty. Still no BM. Henry asks if he can pet Meesha.

10:01 Promise of petting Meesha is made once a ‘major transaction’ happens.

10:05 More awkward eye contact.

10:06 Henry reminds us that if successful, his night involves a Spidey shirt and hanging out with Meesha. He adds that he wants to kick his orange ball five times too just to see if we are listening. We were listening and agree to the new terms.

10: 07-10:10 Henry repeats the terms of ‘the transaction’ at least five times.

10:14 Henry makes a raspberry sound with his mouth (farting noise), hops of the potty and announces that he has successfully made a BM.

10:15 Jeremy and I laughing hysterically.

10:16 Back on the potty.

10:17 Henry complains of a stomach ache. We talk soothingly to him and reassure him that he will be okay.

10:22 Henry shouts, “I’m scared!” We can see from the look on his face that something is happening how.

10:24 TRANSACTION COMPLETE!

10:25 Hugs, jumping up and down (all three of us). Henry and I singing our specially potty song (This involves complex choreography and we each have our our own lines. Seriously, Jeremy has never been quite able to nail down a proper version of our family classic, 'Who Pooped In Potty?" - music and lyrics by Jen, arrangement by Henry)

10:27 Orange ball kicking (seven times - he squeezed two extra kicks out of the deal), Spidey shirt wearing and Jeremy and me chasing Meesha around the house to catch her to fulfill the rest of the bargain. Sorry there, old girl. Sometimes you’ve got to take one for the team.

The Lazy Hiker

Jeremy decided that for Father's Day he would like to venture up to Cache Valley, hit up his favorite greasy spoon for breakfast and then go for a short day hike up Logan River Parkway. The kids and I were all for it. We really didn't have a choice though, it was Jeremy's day.

By the time we rolled into Logan, it was the peak of breakfast time, 9:30 am. Jeremy and I had been discussing what we would be ordering once we hit Angie's Restaurant. Jeremy was jonesing for their big breakfast. I was going to have an egg white omelett. Yum.

But when we pulled up to Angie's, we saw a line out the door and even more people stuffed in the waiting area. It didn't look good and Henry was starting to ask all sorts of questions about when his breakfast would get here. Instead of braving the 40 minute line, we did what any respectable family would do, we went to McDonald's.

See how the Father figure in our family is actually okay with his sausage, egg and cheese biscuit meal.



Henry insisted on chicken for breakfast. Luckily, Mickey-D's now has chicken on their breakfast menu. Henry dug in.


Then he spit it out.

Reesie thought Henry's troubles were amusing.

As I gazed at our beautiful girl, I became fixated on her cute little piggy toes.


So cute.

While I was hypnotized by Reesie's feet, Henners swiped my breakfast sandwitch.

Too bad. So sad. The man child taunts me.

After the breakfast and the taunting was over, we packed up and drove up the majestic looking Logan Canyon. Here's 3/4 of our family before embarking on our scenic hike.

Reese, are you ready?

Are you really ready?

She seems a little unsure now doesn't she. No worries. She loved the hike.

The men started out strong. They were on a brisk pace from the start.

Reese and I were a bit more leasurely. We stopped to take in the beauty all around us.

And beneath us. Look at my piggy toes. Why deprive nature of seeing these freshly manicured suckers?


We caught up with the boys around the next bend. By that time, Henners had wrangled his way on top of Jeremy. Apparently the concept of hiking was lost on the Manster.

More beauty.

More Manster.


Henry and Jeremy did a bit of climbing....


....on this mossy rock.


I watched and cheered them on. I was not about to ruin my pedicure.


Then we stopped to throw rocks into the river.


It was a perfect time to feed Reesie.

During her bottle time, I noticed she had a curious look about her. She was troubled by something down by the river.


Ahh. Brother becoming one with nature.


While all the peeing in the river was taking place, Reesie tried her best to steal my ring. Future suitors of Reesie be on notice: This girl likes her some bling bling.


Besides working me over for my jewelry, Reesie's been working on something else lately. A new tooth. I encouraged her to open up and smile for me.


Umm...that's cute and all, but let me see your tooth.

Still no tooth. Give me a bigger smile, girl.


That's adorable, but not quite. I decided to demonstrate for the wee one.


Much better. There they are! Do you see them?


After all the smiling, Reese decided she needed to be incognito with my oversized shades.


We then decided to head back to the car. Henry was off and running.

But he quickly grew tired. What's with the short stamina? He begged us to let him ride in the jog stroller on the way back. Reesie wasn't too happy.


Not happy at all. See her dirty look? She's totally getting better at them.


Henry cruised in comfort on the way down the trail.


But so did Reesie.


Thanks, Jeremy for being a father. You're a great one. All my love, always!