This marks the fourth day I've posted this week. What the hell is going on around here? I'll tell you what's going on. My kids haven't been fed or bathed in days. I haven't seen my husband since Wednesday. His closet is cleaned out, but I assume he's probably just on a camping trip or something. I don't know, I still need to check the note he affixed to our bedroom door with a steak knife. I ripped my eyes away from my laptop to glance at it briefly and noticed he wrote, "IT'S ME OR THE BLOG!" I'm so flattered he still reads me.
Today, I'm participating in the Spin Cycle hosted by The Divine Sprite’s Keeper, Jen Cohen. I must be completely honest with you all though, it's a recycled post. I posted this last fall when Jen wanted us to write about wishes. I think it would work for this week's topic about time just as well.
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I wish it didn’t take up so much of my time get ready in the morning. When I run time trials on my routine it comes to just shy of two hours. That is huge, people. No one should spend that much time getting ready unless they’re heading to prom or to their own wedding. Oh, if only my morning hassle ended with an updo and a flower corsage!
It’s not like when I finish this two hour routine I look stunning either. You’d think I’d be perfectly coiffed, pressed and ready to go. No, most of the time I just look like this.
And that’s on a good day. I joke with Jeremy that pretty doesn’t happen overnight. He usually adds that pretty can’t seem to happen in under an hour either.
Today, I'm participating in the Spin Cycle hosted by The Divine Sprite’s Keeper, Jen Cohen. I must be completely honest with you all though, it's a recycled post. I posted this last fall when Jen wanted us to write about wishes. I think it would work for this week's topic about time just as well.
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I wish it didn’t take up so much of my time get ready in the morning. When I run time trials on my routine it comes to just shy of two hours. That is huge, people. No one should spend that much time getting ready unless they’re heading to prom or to their own wedding. Oh, if only my morning hassle ended with an updo and a flower corsage!
Believe me, I’ve tried to cut my morning routine down for as long as I can remember. I just can’t do it. If there was a twelve-steps group out there for people like me I would totally join. But only with the condition that I could just sort of roll out of bed and show up in sweat pants. If I have to shower and go through the whole rigmarole of getting ready, I may never make that meeting on time.
It’s not like when I finish this two hour routine I look stunning either. You’d think I’d be perfectly coiffed, pressed and ready to go. No, most of the time I just look like this.
And that’s on a good day. I joke with Jeremy that pretty doesn’t happen overnight. He usually adds that pretty can’t seem to happen in under an hour either.
I have a long-held, yet untested belief that the route of my problem lies in the shower. If I enter the shower at 6:00 am, the soonest I am leaving that place is 35 minutes or later. And that’s on a good day. If I have to shave or deep condition, then you can just forget about it.
I swear to you I am not a dawdler in the shower either. I’m moving and working the entire time. I’m washing, exfoliating, lathering, rinsing and repeating. I’m all focus, baby.
One time I asked Jeremy to give me a few pointers with my shower routine. That little adventure didn’t go so well. It ended with the two of us standing in a dry shower together with me fully clothed and Jeremy continually asking, “So when is the magic going to happen?“ What part of DRY RUN did he not understand? Needless to say, for about three minutes, there was a lot of awkward eye contact between the two of us.
Again, I ask you, is there a special class where I can enroll? I’d even be willing to take an internet course. I thought about Googling ‘faster showers for women’ but Jeremy strongly advised me against it. He said I would definitely not find what I was looking for. I’m just going to have to take him at his word.
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