Fattie: Week 4 (Jen's Mean Lean Green Shake)

We’re in the middle of week 4 of the HASAY Challenge over here at Steenky Bee. Can you believe it’s been almost a month already? Well, I, for one, can not, mostly because I’ve only been following the rules for about eight days total. And I must say, by selectively participating in this challenge has made it much more bearable than if I would have actually stuck to it every day. I mean, can you imagine four whole weeks of sensible eating and exercise? Sure my guilt level is at an all time high, but man, I have been eating some good food lately.

Actually, I’ve been doing the steps and working quite hard at this thing, but just like religion, money and Fight Club, I don’t talk about it. It’s just poor taste. Also, I like to make Casey think I'm a slacker. At the big reveal at the end, I'll be all, "Ha, suckas! I'm skinny!"

We're having a reveal aren't we? I only signed up because I was promised a big reveal finale and a trip to Florida. I don't really care about my health at all. I just want to meet Casey in person and then ride Space Mountain with her at Disney World.

And speaking of poor taste, have I got a killer health shake for you all to try! (BTW: How did you all like that segway? I worked on it for days. I’m actually quite proud of it. However, in retrospect, I can see that I mentioned the word "taste" over two paragraphs ago. Perhaps my segway wasn't too clever after all. Maybe I'm light headed from my recent bought of fever and all the deep-knee lunges I've been doing. (Not at the same time, of course. Now that would be in poor taste.)

Okay, so back to the health shake....if you’re like me, and pray that you’re not, you have a difficult time getting your daily serving of vegetables. Also, if you’re like me, you prefer to call vegetables, "veggies". This shake will help you take care of some of your veggie requirements for the day. I drink one every morning before I leave the house. I am addicted to it. This shake fills you up and is rich in fiber and nutrients. Pinkie swear, it is.

Ingredients:
4 ice cubes
4 oz of water
1 apple (including skin, no core or seeds)
¾ banana or 1 small banana
5 fresh mint leaves
5 large kale leaves (omit the stalks, just tear the leaves away)
1 large handful of fresh spinach

Directions:
Blend apple (cut into chunks with skin still on), water and mint leaves in blender. Add banana and ice cubes next. Last, kale leaves (torn from stalks) a little bit at a time. Finally, throw in large handful of spinach leaves.

Warnings:
1. I guess I should have warned you ahead of time, but this shake is sort of chewy (add more banana if the consistency freaks you out and if you are a giant wuss and can’t chew a shake.)
2. Also, the kale and spinach leaves are extremely tough on the blades of the blender. You can invest in a heavy duty blender that runs upwards of $300 or you could go through four blenders priced at $60 a piece like I have. Who said I’m not money savvy?
3. Check your teeth in a mirror or at least have a very non-judgmental friend near by who will check them for any stray green residue left behind. I’m not saying this happened to me, but someone I know was very embarrassed at a morning marketing meeting when her boss pointed out that she had something green in her teeth at 9:00 am even though she checked the mirror beforehand.
4. This shake is not for the easily disrupted digestive track either. The whole purpose of the Mean Lean Green is to aid in digestion.

So, in summation, if you are afraid of chewy, green shakes, don’t have a reasonably decent blender, are self-conscious about your grooming habits and are prone to the runs...then perhaps this shake IS NOT for you.

All you others, DRINK UP!

Not sure what HASAY is? Click here.

My other Fattie updates can be found here:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3