Beef and Broccoli

I'm guest posting today over at Ca-Joh's site. He's good people. He's also out of town, hence the guest posting gig I landed.

If you want to hear all about how beef and broccoli changed my plans entirely for the evening, go here. If you want to continue living an unfulfilled life void of all meaning, well, then by all means, stay here. But if I were you, I would go with the beef and broccoli thing.

Guest Post: Warning Pants Optional

Umm....whoops. I was supposed to throw up a link bright and early this morning to Where's My Damn Answer where I am guest posting today and I spaced it a bit. WHO DOES THAT?

The lovely Lindaloohoo contacted me weeks ago and I practically jumped in her lap out of glee when she asked me to guest post over at Damn Answer.

Please, oh, please, Lindaloohoo, please forgive me! I was side tracked with, yet again, more cat drama, Chase Crawford finally getting the lead role for the remake of Footloose and by Glen Beck getting the sh*t beat out of him on The View.

Everyone, head on over to Where's My Damn Answer to hear about my triumphant night without pants. Then, subscribe to Where's My Damn Answer. I do, you should too!

Ima Guest Postin'

Remember when I told you all that I'd be hangin' with Casey today? Well, I didn't mean it literally. I'm only guest posting at her place. She'd never agree to meeting me in person after all the dead rodents I've left on her driveway to replace the lawn statues I stole from her. Please pop over to Casey's as I post about the radio commercial that changed my life.

Also? Pop back over here tomorrow or Wednesday or sometime this week because I actually DID meet a blogging friend over the weekend. Let's just say, I didn't make a complete ass out of myself, I was only half-assed.

Another Also? Today I'm going to work on refraining from saying the phrase "pop over". I'm not sure where I picked that up. Sorry.

A Guest Post That Mentions Me In A Leotard And The Osmonds

I'm off a guest postin' again this week. Twice in the same week? I wouldn't say I'm a guest post whore or anything. I like to thinkg of myself as a blogger that prefers to play the field a bit.

I'm guesting over at The Dayton Time whilst Pamela tends to her new little arrival, Elliott, who by the way, is one of the most precious little babies I've ever seen. For reals.

In full disclosure, I must confess that Pamela never asked me to guest post. No joke. I cornered her way back in the fall and just told her I would be guest posting for her when her wee-one arrived. You know why I did this? Because I love her, that's why. She is such a cool chick. She's always given me support, witty comments and her friendship. What she's never given me, however, are soap nuts, pickles or loaves of bread. (She knows what's up.)

Please visit me over at Pamela's if you're so inclined. Be sure to check out her husband too over here. He's all kinds of awesome. I'm hoping we're still friends after I expose his "game" in my guest post at The Dayton Time.

I'm A Sucker For A Guest Post

Hi-dee-ho! I'm not here today. I'm here.

No, you know what? That was the lamest intro ever. I think I need a do-over.

Here goes...

I'm here today, at Petra The Wise Young Mommy's place. She's beautiful. She's irreverent. She's slightly naughty. But above all, she's very delusional because she let me take over her blog, for the day. She has no idea what a horrible house guest I can be. I make messes and leave carpet stains that can't be cleaned up. Come on over to see me completely butcher her much beloved He Blogs She Blogs post for the week...or should I say "for the weak?".

Okay, that intro was still pretty lame. Sorry.

A Dream And A Guest Post That Is Much Better Than The Dream

I had a dream last night that I was Julie Christie. I don't know why. I've never even seen any movie that she's been a part of, but in my dream I was Julie Christie. As Ms. Christie, I ransacked through any open car I could find in a Target parking lot and took stray shoes left in automobiles. I'm not sure why, but in my dream, people seem to store spare shoes in their rides.

Anyway, I found the cutest pair of banana colored leather pumps with the coolest chunky heels in an old run down Honda hatch back. Just as I snagged them the owner of the car and the shoes walked up and looked at me suspiciously. I threw the shoes on and began small talk with her. When I jumped in my car to take off, I noticed that she followed me all over town. I was a little worried, but then I thought to myself, "I'm Julie freakin' Christie. I'm famous. That's why I'm being followed."

Eventually, I lost the woman desperately looking for either my autograph or her stolen shoes and ended up at an older man's house who, in my dream, was my lover. His name was Ed Hardy. He was watching re-runs of The Mary Tyler Moore Show on one of those very outdated television, you know the ones that sit on the floor and are encased in faux wood and take up a ton of wall space. I fell asleep with my new shoes on, I loved them so much.

So....yeah. That's my dream. Weird, huh? Aren't you glad I'm taking a blogging break? See the strange crap I'm sparing you from reading? But something I don't want to spare you from reading is my GUEST POST today over at Kaply, Inc. It's a conversation about Christmas that Jeremy and I had a little over two weeks ago as we were deciding how best to save money for the holidays.

Also, if you've never checked Tracy out over at Kaply, Inc., please go visit her now. She is the second person I ever met in this bloggy world and I can't say enough nice or snarky things about her. She's off-the-hook, yo. I fell in love with her way back in the summer when she posted her undying love for burritos. I'm not sure why, but I just found that particular post hilarious. Also, you must absolutely look through her archives to read over her blog post titles, including my all-time favorite, "Jesus May Love You, But I Think You're A Big Fat Idiot." Go check her now! Go! Go!

I'm A Giver, What Can I Say?

My good friend Jenni over at Oscarelli asked me to guest post while she’s busy delivering baby number two. I would do anything for that woman. She changed my life the day she let me know that Viggo Mortensen has a vestiginal tail. (It’s a long story, but she reached out to me and stopped me from making a critical error of keeping him on my “celebrity freebie” list.) Anyway, I heart Jenni. She's witty, snarky and wicked. Everything I look for in a friend and in a cat. She never fails to bring the funny and she's cool with the fact that I'm obsessed with her mom. (Another long story, but this one has no tail.)

Jenni asked me, along with her other guest posters to describe our experiences bringing home baby number two. I totally didn’t follow the rules. Go check it out.

Good luck, Jenni!

Be Careful What You Ask For, or at the Very Least, Be Very Specific

Have you heard? My dear, multi-talented friend, Clark Kent has gone missing. It's true. He's asked me to fill in for a day while he's laying low. He's been slipping his readers clues every day as to his whereabouts. I hope he resurfaces soon.

When my super hero friend asked me to guest post, he left me a lot of leeway and basically just told me to go crazy. LET MY GUEST POST AT HIS SITE BE A LESSON TO ALL OF YOU OUT THERE. Steenky Bee is like a child, she needs very rigid guidelines and detailed instructions when given an assignment.

Click on over to Clark Kent's Lunchbox to see what happens when I'm asked to guest post, but I never actually get around to writing my post. Instead, I just asked the host a bunch of inappropriate questions.

Side Note: I've said this before, but wouldn't Clark Kent's Lunchbox be, like, the best band name EVER?