January 26, 2010

Eddie, Please Stop Talking to Me.

It feels like I'm learning to get my blogging voice back all over again. You know the one. It's the voice in your head that says, Gee-wiz, it sure was a hoot when the copy repairman told me he hosted a photography website that featured his life's second passion, spiritual nudes. Why don't you write about that?

For the record, my blogging voice has always has sounded like Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver, filled with plenty of Aw shucks! and Golly gee-wizes!

For the other record, the copy repairman's first passion is rebuilding snowmobiles. (I sit way too close to a copier that has seen its better days, Folks.)

Back to my blogging voice. Although this morning "The Beav" told me it would be outtasight! to tackle the spiritual nudes thing here, I just don't think I have the blogging strength or stomach to do it this early in the day.

Instead, I found myself dusting off my reader, surfing the web and steering VERY wide and clear of the website the copy guy wrote down for me on his business card. This exercise found me stalking Middle Aged Woman's blog because, a) I love her and 2) I knew her site would be virtually free of any spiritual nudes. I was right. Additionally, I saw that she had put up a quotation meme a few days prior. Not only was this a welcome distraction, but it gave me something to write about. Even though I wasn't tagged, I hope MAW doesn't mind that I decided to crash her party and steal the meme for myself.

So the meme goes a little something like this. If you'd like to participate, go here and check out some of the random quotes. Pick 5 quotes that you feel apply to your life, that say something about you and share. If you'd like, tag 5 people to do the same, link to the person who tagged you. Here are the few quotes I selected:

"There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on."
--Robert Byrne
(Um, hello! I have difficulties following though on just about everything, with the only exception being a plate of nachos. Oh I'll finish those up. What's not to love about cheese and beans and cheese? Nothing, that's what.)

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”
--Charles M. Schulz
(I hesitated to include this one because it is Charles Schulz, a man beloved by many, but by me, not so much. Old Chuck cracked a funny here though and for that, I must give him props.)

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...”
--George Carlin
(George, most likely high at the time he said this, pegged me perfectly with this quote. The last eight months I have questioned how anyone has any time or energy to follow their dreams let alone, wash their hair.)

"It is better to travel well than to arrive."

(Perhaps this quote, more than any of the others, says more about the kind of person I pride myself on being. I am, of course, referring to the heated leather seats in my car. What? It's cold in Utah.)

"How come Eddie is such a creepy guy?"
(Eddie is the name of the copy repair guy. 'Nuf said.)

On a semi-serious and totally gushy note, I want to thank MAW for reaching out to me during my hiatus and saying the thoughful things she did. It was wonderful to hear her blogging voice.


gimmethejuice said...

I always knew you were June Cleaverish. I think that is a Utah thing. Ya'll (no I am not from the South, I just like to say ya'll) are so darn nice there.

Funny ~ So glad you are back.

Sprite's Keeper said...

I kinda felt the same way about Schulz. Huh. Maybe I just felt Lucy was a bitch for constantly making Charlie wipe out on the field and I thought Schulz should have, you know, given the kid a break.

Middle Aged Woman said...

I once saw Charles Schulz on the Mike Douglas Show (wow, am I old). He drew a giant picture of a dancing Snoopy in about 30 seconds. He made to do a second drawing by tearing off the first and tossing it to the ground. Douglas totally dived for it and caught it before it hit the studio floor.

I'm glad you picked up the meme, since Captain Dumbass hasn't. Yet. I think this means I now like YOU better than I like HIM.

Jenni said...

wait a minute - if this is how you feel, why the hell have you been emailing me photos of spiritual nudes?!

Becky said...

OMG, it is those spiritual nude copy guy moments when I am SO HAPPY to have a blog. You are truly blessed.

Michele said...

There is everything to love about cheese and beans and cheese. Finishing a plate is the only right thing to do. Finishing anything else, meh not so much.

Kat said...

I could do with some heated leather seats...toasty.

Kristina P. said...

I am speaking at the Casual Blogger Conference on finding your blogger voice. YOu may have seen the picture on my post about my voice sounding like a bear and a goat, wearing Snuggies.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

Yeah, I agree with George Carlin there. I agree with very little George Carlin says (other than 'Thomas the Train was traveling on the Island of Sodor. . .") but this quote I agree with. Who has time for that crap? Who has time for all this mindless blogging and . . . um . . . hey, I gotta go. It's getting late. or something. Or...bye.

Captain Dumbass said...

I KNEW she was going to take a jab at me for not doing this yet. Just for that I'm going to do all my quotes in spiritual nude charades.

just making my way said...

I loved Charlie Brown as a kid. And then I got old enough to realize how depressing most of it is.

Would it be bad to blow that George Carlin quote up and put it on my wall? That is SO how I feel most every day.

CaJoh said...

Love your blog voice— it's almost a conflict of interest where the straight-laced voice tells you do do something dirty.

Sounds like a cool meme, but I would probably pick a lot of my own quotes since I'm typically lost at knowing who said what.

Thanks for sharing,

Pamela said...

well, then. i'm spiritual. and also nude.

what does that mean?

Anndi said...

Is the copy guy the Eddie Haskell to your bloggy-voice Beav?

I'm still trying to wrap my brain around why a copy guy would talk about nudes, spiritual or otherwise... just what had you been copying that the repair dude had to show up, eh?

April said...

hahahahahah spiritual nudes hahahahahah what a perv hahahahahah

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

I gotta admit, I am intrigued by the concept of spiritual nudes. I am sure that they will ultimately be creepy and awkward to view, but inquiring minds want to know what that is.

Middle Aged Woman said...

Go ahead, Google "spiritual nudes." I dare you. Also, the first time I sat in a heated car seat, I thought I had peed.

Bex said...

mmmm..... nachos.

(my blog commentor voice is Homer Simpson)

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I love Middle Aged Mom too. And thank you for reminding me I was tagged in this meme becuz when it comes to memes I am one gigantic FAIL! Don't know why I can't get my meme shit together, but I never do. Sigh!

Mrsbear said...

Your blogging voice has remained hilariously intact.

Although, I think you might need a restraining order against the copier repair man...or vice-versa. :)

Middle Aged Woman Blogging said...

Ah! You're back! And with a new attitude!! Wow, I didn't realize there was another Middle Aged Woman blogger, but of course there would be. We middle aged women abound! Frankly, I could use a spiritual nude about now.... point me in the right direction, please!!!

Middle Aged Woman Blogging said...

Ah! You're back! And with a new attitude!! Wow, I didn't realize there was another Middle Aged Woman blogger, but of course there would be. We middle aged women abound! Frankly, I could use a spiritual nude about now.... point me in the right direction, please!!!

Casey said...

Trying to dust off my reader and get back to blogging over here too but I have SPIRITED nudes interrupting me all the time. Seriously, my kids keep pulling their damn clothes off and we don't have heated seats.

Bee said...

Great quotes!

My favorite is:

It's better to have loved and not set it free because it's yours and you can lock it up in the basement if you want.


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Your job as a future mother is to learn the god's ways and to help your child understand despite the negative reinforcement and conditioning of today's society. Without consciousous parents the child will have no hope, and may even exaserbate their disfavor by becoming corrupted in today's environment.
Your ultimate goal is to fix your relationship wiith the gods and move on. You don't want to be comfortable here, and the changes in Western society in the last 100 years has achieved just that.
1000 years with Jesus is the consolation prize. Don't be deceived into thinking that is the goal.

The gods tempt people for which they are most weak. Artificial Intelligence will create desire in people's minds for the following sins:::
1. Alcohol
2. Drugs
3. Preditory "earning"
4. Homosexuality
5. Gambling
6. Something for nothing/irresponsibility (xtianity)
7. Polygamy/superiority over women/misogyny (Islam)
Much like the other prophets Mohhamed (polygamy/superiority over women/misogyny) and Jesus (forgiveness/savior), the gods use me for temptation as well. In today's modern society they feel people are most weak for popular culture/sensationalism, and the clues date back to WorldWarII and Unit731:TSUSHOGO.
It has been discussed that, similar to the Matrix concept, the gods will offer a REAL "Second Coming of Christ", while the "fake" Second Coming will come at the end and follow New Testiment scripture and their xtian positioning. I may be that real Second Coming.
What I teach is the god's true way. It is what is expected of people, and only those who follow this truth will be eligible to ascend into heaven as children in a future life. They offered this event because the masses have just enough time to work on and fix their relationship with the gods and ascend, to move and grow past Planet Earth, before the obligatory xtian "consolation prize" of "1000 years with Jesus on Earth" begins.

The Prince of Darkness, battling the gods over the souls of the Damned.
It is the gods who have created this environment and led people into Damnation with temptation. The god's positioning proves they work to prevent people's understanding.
How often is xtian dogma wrong? Expect it is about the Lucifer issue as well.
The fallen god, fighting for justice for the disfavored, banished to Earth as the fallen angel?
I believe much as the Noah's Flood event, the end of the world will be initiated by revelry among the people. Revelry will be positioned to be sanctioned by the gods and led for "1000 years with Jesus on Earth".
In light of modern developments this can entail many pleasures:::Medicine "cures" aging, the "manufacture" of incredible beauty via cloning as sex slaves, free (synthetic) cocaine, etc.
Somewhere during the 1000 years the party will start to "die off", literally. Only those who maintain chaste, pure lifestyles will survive the 1000 years. They will be the candidates used to (re)colonize (the next) Planet Earth, condemned to relive the misery experienced by the peasantry during Planet Earth's history.
If this concept of Lucifer is true another role of this individual may be to initiate disfavor and temptation among this new population, the proverbial "apple" of this Garden of Eden. A crucial element in the history of any planet, he begins the process of deterioration and decay that leads civilizations to where Planet Earth remains today.

Only children go to heaven. By the time you hit puberty it is too late. This is charecteristic of the gods:::Once you realize what you have lost it is too late.
Now you are faced with a lifetime to work to prepare for your next chance. Too many will waste this time, getting stoned, "Hiking!", working, etc.