January 20, 2010

No, Your Reader Isn't Deceiving You.

I’m a woman of leisure.

No, wait. I take that back.

I’m a woman of leisure pants. Ratty old leisure pants. You know, the soft, full of holes pair with that unfortunate stain? Yeah, I’m that woman.

But I didn’t post today to talk about my pants. I posted today to simply post something today. The story about my pants? That was nothing but an awkward introduction to the rest of my post.

But as long as we’re on the subject of my pants……

There are very few things in this life that will force me to jump out of my leisure pants. I love them that much. They are stretchy and forgiving and they are black so they hide just about everything except for mustard stains that pop up and say HELLO! when you are cosmic bowling with your family.

Okay, so let’s address the elephant in the room, shall we? Where have I been for six+ months? Frankly, I don’t know. I’ve been here. Sort of. I wish I had interesting and witty barbs about all my adventures through the second half of 2009, but I don’t. (Did I mention the mustard stain on my favorite pants already? Sadly, that was the highlight of my entire month of November.)
I have a confession: Around June, I just sort of lost it. Lost my zest and interest in my life. I became depressed. I no longer felt it was good to be me and I questioned my place and my purpose. It was as though I woke up one day and everything that I had once found interesting, exciting and fun, I suddenly found “Meh.” That includes my blog. And especially my hair.

Can I take a break from all this serious, touchy, feely talk to take you on a tangent and discuss the situation with my hair on my self-imposed break? A big part of my depression was my lethargy and lack of energy. This manifested itself in me not wanting to wash my hair with the frequency I had before. Gross, I know. But before you judge me and my unkempt hair, keep reading.

Now, you probably already know that I have very curly hair. It actually looks and feels better day two and three after a shampooing. My hair doesn’t grease up if I don’t wash it, in fact, it does quite the opposite and actually becomes somewhat more manageable, however, it also becomes big. I mean BIG BIG, like Delta Burke on Designing Women BIG.

I can’t tell you how many times a co-worker or my mother-in-law asked me if I was doing something “new” with my hair and they gave me a long, quizzical look. Well, if you consider going four or five days between shampooing then the answer is Why of course, yes! I am absolutely doing something new with my hair. It’s called the Delta and I’m totally rockin’ it.

But folks, I am here today to proclaim to the internets that I have been washing my hair regularly. I have been happy to get out of bed. And today….well, today, I bought myself a brand new pair of stretchy pants.

I was hoping that 2010 would end up being a whole lot better than my 2009. I’m happy to report that three weeks in, as far as the absence of mustard stains and lack of 80’s hair go, for me, this year has been a tiny bit badass.

58 comments:

Jess said...

And here I went out and got a perm. On purpose. Curly. I KNOW! Weird, huh?!?!

I am glad you are feeling better. I get in those funks, but then I just pop a couple Xanax and go sit on the beach. And eat.

That reminds me...I am hungry.

kel said...

I am so very happy you are posting again! I also went through a "slump".. its hard to dig out... I am glad you did. Missed you and your awesome hair!

Cameron said...

I thought there was an extra powerful scent of polygamy and Herbal Essence in the air today...welcome back, Jenbo.

DeeMarie said...

I love you. Just sayin. Was right there with you. And I still wear my leisure pants every day.

Casey said...

What the what? I'm glad to see you posting again, you big-haired freak. You're a skan even. Do people even say that anymore?

I lost my umph toward the end of last year too, I'm about three or four months behind you on the depressed not caring about much roller coaster. With the help of some pills, duct tape (for the kids) and a babysitter, I'm slowly crawling back to the land of the living. Glad to see you are too, you were missed. Pinky swear.

Becky said...

Goodness sakes, welcome back! I am so glad I kept your link handy, right there on my blogroll. So glad you're feeling better and enjoy your new pants!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Still love you. No worries there. As for the hair? Same boat, different coast, different humidity.

jen said...

the only thing i will miss about being pregnant are the excuse to have comfortable stretchy pants on at all times.
so glad to hear your voice today via a blog post.
i needed that. thanks.

Peggy said...

Glad you're feeling better...you have been missed!
xoxo

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Well hey there. Welcome back to blogland. You didn' miss much except the opportunity to talk about Michael Jackson. Phooey. Pick up where you left off we're too dumb to notice.

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

I love stretchy pants. Especially black yoga pants. Because then I look like I've just been exercising! At least that's what I tell myself.

Anywho...welcome back to blogland.

Ms. Salti said...

OH MY GAWD, I thought you were dead. I was checking obituaries and everything!

Glad you're back and out of your funk. Funks suck. Believe me, I'm the Queen of them.

Mrsbear said...

You're title answered my "what the what?" question.

Glad 2010 is treating your pants and hair with some love.

Spread some of that badass-ednness around, we all have our unwashed hair, stained pants, non-blogging days.

Keely said...

Woo! I'm glad 2010 is working out better for you. I have had a slump for a while too, I just continue to whine about it on the internet instead of doing the noble thing and abstaining.

Captain Dumbass said...

Great Googely Moogely! If it weren't for arm rests on my chair I might have fallen over in shock. I'm so happy I may have peed a little.

Tara Cain said...

Awww. totally missed you Jen. Leisure 'pants' and all (you know they're not pants right? You know pants are, like, knickers . . . Tut. You Americans x)

Logical Libby said...

I call them "fun pants" and they are what make life worth living.

Glad to see you back. I thought seagulls had eaten you.

Michele said...

Welcome back. Sometimes one just needs to say enough. enough washing.

for a different kind of girl said...

I get it. The hair. The pants. I get it, even though in my case, it as bralessness. No one, and I mean no one, needs that at the grocery store when you're browsing the ice cream flavors while also perhaps chatting with yourself. I speak from experience.

Also? Yeah! Look at how many of us dig you who have already come out to say yeah, you're back?! Honey, I wrote for the first time in two weeks today and I can't hold a candle to you OR your kick ass hair!

Dudette said...

I'm almost 28, that sounds like my life since I've been 19. Hello major depression. I hope you find your way out and are just dealing with a case of the blues. Glad to see you back.

Pamela said...

I thought the you had taken the wagon train down to Mountain Meadows and the Mormon Brotherhood had ordered your assassination.

Thank God it was just depression.

Love the new design, and missed you like crazy.

P.S. Please don't tell the Mormons where I live.

Cinnamon said...

I wish I had curls just so I could wash twice a week! Kinda jealous... this every-day-straightening-thing blows chunks.
Welcome back! Missed ya!
:) Robin
cinnamon & honey

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I would say YAY your back but I don't know you, this is my first time reading you so our relationship is pretty new.

But, I'm happy your back because you had me had curls and hair and not washing it! Sigh...

Mine is straight and boring...you know...pretty meh?

I am glad you feel better and are out of your funk, that's just no fun period.

Mrs. C. said...

Holy Crap-ola, it's good to see a woman with big sexy hair out and around again! Thought maybe you had gone away to play Farmville on Pacebook and decided to never come back.

It made my rainy, gray, funky, Pacific Northwet day just a bit brighter to see you move up to the top of my blog roll today. Kind of like when I find ONE MORE roll of Smarties in my kid's Halloween bag...

Irish Gumbo said...

Well, hells to the yeah! welcome back!

And those mustard stains? My dear, that's just a tiny bit hawt heehee :)

Seriously, glad to see you!

Tracy Lynn said...

Bout damn time, dude.

just making my way said...

I KNEW you'd be back someday! Well, at least I hoped you would.

Literally, yesterday I was thinking to myself, "Self, maybe it's time you updated your blogroll. I wonder what ever happened to steenky bee."

No lie. I'm like psychic or something. Missed you!

April said...

i'm so sorry you were down but ecstatic that you're back! (and loving the new blog look!)

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

I know it says that I should say something funny, but really I'm not that funny. So I won't try.

I just wanna say that I'm glad that you are back, and it appears that everyone else is too! I think that we need more funny in the world...for people like me who can't pull it off.

Sell...Party Of 4 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Mister said...

I totally ran out of Blog Juice a while back too. So much so that I can't even muster up the wit to call you a hooker in an amusing way. Glad you're back though. We missed our Steenky!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Hey welcome back ; -) 2009 didn't go well for a lot of us, yes?

Wishing a continually badass 2010.

Jenni said...

Jenbo! Sorry you were so down. And here I thought you'd just been whoring it up these past six months.

Welcome back, sista!

Maggie May said...

Oh yes. Ye!! I'm so glad to hear from you, so glad. Depression = shit. So sorry about that. I was there all December.

anymommy said...

It's really good to see you. Your hair looks lovely, so clean and not at all big.

shopgirl said...

so.glad.your.back!!!

Feel better - I know, easier said than done, but I know if anyone can, Stinky Bee can do it!!

Momma Trish said...

I've missed you. And I've not posted either. For similar reasons.

I mean to return to posting. But I can't come up with anything I deem worthwhile to write. Just tired, and sick, and sad, and incredibly busy. It's no fun.

Your hair is beautiful. I've always thought so. :-)

krista said...

mmm hmmm.
welcome back.

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

I'm with Tara on the pants. I've just read your whole post thinking "Has Jen got leisure knickers?" which brings a whole new connotation to your post.

Anyway - glad you're back. You have been missed.

PS If I wasn't stalking you on Facebook I would have sent out a search party.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

You rock those new stretchy pants girl!

New year, new lease on life. We all go through some form of depression/withdrawal at some point.
I'm glad you are feeling good.

Erin said...

I thought my reader was teasing me. I am also glad you're back.

gimmethejuice said...

I might have cried a little reading this or maybe the tears were related to the waxing I just had but either way there were tears in my eyes.

I am happy you are happy to get out of bed and wash that hair.

You've been missed.

Cat said...

I thought maybe you'd been called for duty by the super secret division of the CIA that deals with terrorists and republicans.

Where you actually were makes more sense because I don't picture you as comfortable in a black lycra bodysuit.

CaJoh said...

You are so lucky… the other day I was accounting for all of the people who just seemed to have "fallen off the face of the earth" and was about to go through those blogs in my reader that were over 6 months old and remove them. Thankfully I did not, and I welcome your return.

I have a theory about why a lot of people are in a blog funk, but being in one myself I can't seem to assemble it well enough to make a post out of it. Wish me luck getting it together.

BTW: I didn't know that mustard stains showed up under black light— I'll have to remember that.

beth said...

Work got in the way of my blog writing; but, I am hoping to write and read more blogs again. I really missed it!

Miss Grace said...

DOOD!! I can't comment with anything of substance cuz I'm just too happy to SEE YOU HERE DOOD!!!

Bee said...

Yay! And I guess you also owned the "steenky" in steenky bee!

Glad to have you back!

Kristina P. said...

I am so glad you are back! And not depressed.

I've had a bout of anxiety in the past six months. They both really screw with you.

Kat said...

Welcome Back Steenky!!! *BIG PUFFY HEART HUGS AND SMOOCHES* I missed you!!

Middle Aged Woman said...

I'm doing a dance here. Can you tell? AND...I'm wearing the dance face! Good to hear from you Steenky Bee!

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Welcome back! It made my day to hear from you again yesterday. If I disappeared for a few months no one would even notice. You are MUCH loved! : )

Miz Dinah said...

Mmmm...stretchy leisure pants....

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

It is so good to have you back! So good.

But, err, can I have those black stretchy pants? They'll pull up all the way to my chins, right?

XOXOXOXOX

Sherendipity said...

Screw you and your depression! You have a SERVICE to perform to your readers and the people that love you. You can't go off all..."oh woe is me, I don't wanna write"...that just doesn't cut it lady!!

Alright, having gotten the total sarcastic bitch out out of my system, I'm so glad you're feeling better. You are most certainly not alone, and it's pretty evident that everyone loves and supports you.
I hope your 2010 continues to be badass.

Bex said...

isn't it so cool that 54 people commented on your first post in 6 months? that must give you warm fuzzies.

in the first week of 2010 i threw away my nicely won leisure pants. i haven't purchased a replacement just yet but maybe being pant-less is better than wearing those beat up old things!

Zip n Tizzy said...

Just like everyone here - so glad to see you back.

I hit that wall when my youngest was 1 1/2. It's actually what brought me to blogging. (Not writing at that point, but reading.)

Nothing like raising little people to magnify our introspection. Gah!

Glad to hear you're coming out the other side and regardless of how you wear it, I will always love your hair!

Mary Anne said...

HONEY!!!! You are back! And look at all those glorious comments! You were obviously missed!

Thank goodness I don't have to fly to SLC to check in on you, that was close...

Love you.

Debbie said...

I'm so glad you're back. I've missed you.

www.atiredwife.com
Previously Buzzin By)

Sorry - had to do that because for some reason I can't post my comment right now using the Wordpress link thing.