Fattie Update: A Time of Reflection

First off, I want to thank everyone for their kind emails last week and throughout the weekend regarding my last post. I was to assure you that I'm doing well and that situation really did spark a pivotal change things in my life for the better. I even have a few amusing stories that came from that experience that I'll have to share with you all some time. Thanks again, everyone. Your words were so kind and meant so much to me.

Now, on to other things.

So, I might not have a HASAY update every week, but you should know that I’m definitely doing the work. I’m huffin’, I’m puffin’ as I’m running…toward the box of brownies in the pantry.

Not really. I’ve actually been pretty good about things as of late. But I thought it important to revisit my fitness goals to make sure I was still on track for my fitness miracle by summer. I went back and re-read this post here where I initially laid out my fitness plan for the HASAY Challenge. I found a few things quite odd. First, in that post, I talked about skanks an awful lot. I also copped to stalking the HASAY founder, and my dear friend Casey with a dead rat. Wow, I used to be really creepy. I’m much better now. I’d never use a rat (dead or alive) as means to get closer to someone. As my mom always says, you can attract more flies with honey not dead rodents. Wait. That doesn't sound right now does it? If anything, it would sixes right? I might give that one a try.

Anyway, please bear with me while I reminisce over my HASAY fitness goals:

Motivation:
Then: Motivated by food, pretty things, shiny things or when people call me names.
Now: Same with the exception of a few things. I now much prefer sparkly things as opposed to shiny things.

Long-term Goal:
Then: To get fit enough to get whistled at when I walk by our local construction site.
Now: The construction on the fire station near our house has already wrapped up. I guess my motivation now would be to have the firemen that hang about the fire station whistle at me.

Long-term Weight Loss Goals:
Then: I refused to state how many pounds or inches I wanted to lose because I was concerned about alienating bloggy friends that follow the “soft metric” system. I then went on to say how I thought that Hard Metric would be an awesome band name.
Now: I still think Hard Metric would be an awesome band name.

Tools Available To Me:
Then: A dusty treadmill, an even dustier elliptical trainer, and a weight machine in the garage. For some reason, I also thought I had dead cats that I could swing about the house. Maybe I was thinking that would give me shoulder definition? Who knows?
Now: My treadmill has been used….some. I think we still have the elliptical trainer. And I’m happy to report that progress has been made on the weight machine in the garage. A month ago Jeremy disassembled it to make room to store an armoire in the garage.

How Often Can I Exercise:
Then: I claimed I would exercise five times a week, but admitted that I would most likely only work out three times a week.
Now: I’m happy to say that I exercise six times a week! But you should know, that I actually only get around to it four times a week. I’ve been jogging our outside trail (picking up stray cats as nap companions) and doing Pilates in our basement. Wait, Pilates is when you fall asleep on the couch in an uncomfortable position and wake up two hours later really, really sore right?

What Do I Plan On Doing:
Then: I vowed to stop eating BLT sandwiches every day. I also thought it would be a good idea to bring a lunch to work in the hopes that a co-worker would steal it from the fridge, thus forcing me to not eat any calories at all.
Now: No more BLTs and I’m happy to report that my lunch has indeed been stolen at work twice. I wound up eating a bunch of junk food those two days, but no one can say that I didn’t reach my goal of lunch theft.

I’ve made it a habit of eating more whole foods, not snacking and have almost cut back entirely of sugary snacks. I also now write my boss's initials on my lunches at work when storing them in the company fridge. Nobody's going to steal his left overs.

What Has Worked For Me In The Past?
Then: I thought if I constantly cruised by high school football practices like I did fifteen years ago that maybe I’d lose weight and get down to the size I was in high school. I also thought about contracting pneumonia I could drop some weight as well.
Now: Well, as good as an idea as it sounded at the time, I’ve decided to not stalk high school boys. Besides, I’ve now got a fire station just one block away, remember? Our family came down with the stomach flu a while ago. I didn't lsoe any weight but I did end up with someone else’s vomit in my hair.

Conclusion:
Well, it looks like I’m still on track for a mediocre change in my body and overall general health. Let this be a lesson for all the kids out there: If you only aim for the middle, and you fall short of your goal, failing won’t hurt nearly as bad. Hey, I’m going to make that into a T-shirt. I’ll wear it when I’m working out. That way, my out of shape body will need no explanation. Awesome.