Hooked on a Feeling...And Several Blogs

Okay everyone, it’s time to slap on your Spanx, head on down for a spray tan and whiten those teeth. It’s award time at the Steenky Bee.

The lovely Stephanie at Mama Still Wears Gucci! notified me that I was the recipient of the Hooked on Your Blog Award this week. I was sort of stunned. This was so unexpected so I didn’t have a speech planned or anything.

I have to say, receiving this award is much better than the Stop Calling Me Award that my college boyfriend bestowed upon me when he found someone else. A week later he gave me the I Want You Back Award, but by that time I was working hard on his I’m Totally Over You And Your Narcissistic Ways And Your Band Isn’t Really That Good Anyway Award. (It's very prestigious. I've only given that one out once.)

So, naturally after Stephanie so kindly presented me with this award, my life became a whirlwind of one press junket after another. The paparazzi were relentless. They snapped this photo while I was trying to escape one of their agressive mobs in my car. I didn’t ask for this celebrity.

Now that my reign as being a Hooked Blog is nearing its end, and I’ve fulfilled almost all my duties (parades, ribbon cutting ceremonies, diaper changing ceremonies), I only have one more thing thing left to do. I need to pass this awesome honor on to you folks out there. I have assembled a list of categories for the award winners. When you accept your award, please do so in an orderly fashion.

These are in no particular order and there's a ton of them. Drum roll please…

The BBFF (Best Bloggy Friend Forever) Award goes to none other than Captain Dumbass over at Us and Them. At first, I worried that he wouldn’t accept something so pink, but then I just laughed because HE TOTALLY WOULD. For those of you with a touch of OCD, you’ll love him. He posts like 20 times a day. He is clever with the comments and the most wicked sense of humor. Like ever.

The Most Graceful Entrance Award goes to my best gal The Stiletto Mom. She’s snarky, she’s feisty and she may be a closet fan of Clay Aiken. I just don’t know. I would stalk her more regularly if I could, but her lawyer’s all, "Cease and desist…blah blah blah…not within 500 feet." Some people are so sensitive about personal space.

The Thanks Changing My Perspective on Things Award goes to Heather at Riding The Shortbus. She reached out to me when I cried to her for help. She keeps me in stitches, has issues with dressing herself and support undergarments.

The Most Inappropriate Handling of Macaroni and Cheese Award goes to Jen at Blissfully Caffeinated for her use (abuse?) of an innocent bunny on a box of pasta. She attacked the thing with such force that I can’t help but be in awe of her. If she comes at you with her thumb, I suggest you move out of her way. Quickly.

The Best Multi-Tasking in The Shower Award goes to Mommypie. She offered up unique tips and tricks that will take minutes off of that pesky morning routine.

The Person I Never Want to be Behind in Traffic Award goes to Jen over at Sprite's Keeper. She'll have you on the edge of your mini-van seat with her story of road rage with a clever twist that you'll never see coming. She is the hostess with the mostess and a personal assistant to one adorable Sprite.

The Most Consecutive Posts with Photos Award goes to Sherendipity. Her birthday is coming up like, soon, so give her a shout out.

The Best Seven Part Mini-Series About Hurricane Katrina Award goes to Mama Dawg over at Two Dogs Running. You should read her story. That fish had me in tears. On a lighter note, she loves squirrels. Not to eat. At least I don’t think so. Although, where has Jessie been?

The Best Dream Sequence in A Major Chain Department Store Award goes to For A Different Kind of Girl for her arousing tale of passion and birth control theft at Target. (I hear she's shopping around the movie rights.) She’s smart and sassy, yet she won’t tweet. She claims it's a "gateway" medium to more dangerous forms of communication.

The Thanks For Reminding Me What It's Really About Award goes to the lovely Margie at Puddinglegs And Other Childhood Ailments. She spins a mean story and she inspired me to always have candy handy. I'm so glad I found her.

The Cool Chick I Would Totally Hang With to Watch Television Award goes to Tuesday's Girl over at A Girl And Her Life. People find her site in the strangest ways. She often tweets about what she’s having for dinner which makes me hungry and less fulfilled with my bowl of cold cereal.

The Most Erotic Vegetable Award goes to Bee over at Bee’s Musings. Holy crap. Please don’t eat that thing. It will poke your eye out. Bee is hilarious and irreverent. Everything I aspire to be.

The I Like You, But Not In A Weird Way Award goes to Jenny the Bloggess. She is like sooo over me stalking her by now that she has her husband, Victor, bring me a sandwich while I sit waiting outside her house. Oddly enough, she and The Stiletto Mom have the same attorney. Yes, Jenny, I've been receiving those notices. I've used them to make you a beautiful bouquet of origami flowers.

The Out of Nowhere Award goes to Jenni over at Oscarelli. I just found her and she’s got the funny down. I struggled with this one because she almost received The Crushing Your Reality Award with her reveal to me that Viggo Mortenson of my five celebrity list has a vestigial tail. World. Tumbling. Down.

The Heart Bigger Than Texas Award goes to none other than Rhea of Texas Word Tangle. She’s super cool, has a pink cowboy hat that I totally covet and say’s clever things like “I wear worry like pantyhose.” If The Bloggess ever gets sick of me sleeping in my car outside her subdivision, I'm heading over to Rhea's. Also, I won Rhea's book drawing! I am thrilled and ready to read.

The What I Imagine is a Cool British Accent Award goes to Chris Wood. He’s British, ladies! He also says the word "flummoxed" a lot.

The Soon To Have The Coolest British Accent Award goes to Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow. She’s moving to England. Maybe she could look Chris up and they could be flummoxed together? Wait. That doesn’t sound right.

The Thanks But You're Never Painting My House Award goes to Carolyn Online. She, uh....well, she should never be left alone with a can of paint. Never, ever.

The You Can Dance if You Want To Award goes to Ali over at Cheaper Than Therapy. She's got her finger on the pulse of all things pop culture, great shoes and she can dance. Yeah, white girl sho can dance.

The I Envy Your Hair and Fabulous Cheekbones Award goes to Maggie over at Okay, Fine Dammit! I'm pretty sure she has every blogging award out there so I'm giving her one for her looks. Her writing is beautiful and comforting to me.

The Girl I See Eye To Eye With Award goes to the beautiful Monkey of My Life As I See It. I read her because she's not afraid to speak her mind. She also is extremely creative and makes these rad baby onsies.

The Time Wasters at Work Award goes to Heinous. He took his readers on a riveting tour of his many work spaces at his job. He also thinks Pennsylvania has things called mountains. Shh. Don’t tell him that they're only hills.

The I'm Sorry Your Pants Split Open That One Time Award belongs to Beth over at Emtnester. Check her out. In her profile image she's sitting in a giant nest!

The Buyer Beware Award has to go to Sleep Deprivation Ninja for his expose on the follies of online shopping and the struggles of one ninja trying to expand his wardrobe just a little bit. You all know by now it's hard out there for a pimp, but you have no idea what it's like to be a ninja.

The Most Disgusting Picture I’ve Ever Seen Until I Realized What It Was Award definitely goes to The Dayton Time. She did some laundry with these nuts and…well, you should check it out for yourself.

The You Know Too Much About Grease II Award belongs to Ann over at Transition. She's awesome and I totally know what her front door looks like.

And last, but not least, The I Love Your Cookies Award goes to DeeMarie over at My Life in a Nutshell. Her avatar is a little cookie in heels. She is dang funny and the center of her mother’s universe, if only in her own mind.

It is your turn, folks, to pass out this award. The deal is that you need to pass it on to five other bloggers on which you are hooked. I kind of overstepped my bounds a little bit by passing out so many, but I love so many out there. Feel free to clip and paste the pink button to your blog or you can print it out and laminate it like I'm doing with mine.