September 26, 2008

Hooked on a Feeling...And Several Blogs

Okay everyone, it’s time to slap on your Spanx, head on down for a spray tan and whiten those teeth. It’s award time at the Steenky Bee.

The lovely Stephanie at Mama Still Wears Gucci! notified me that I was the recipient of the Hooked on Your Blog Award this week. I was sort of stunned. This was so unexpected so I didn’t have a speech planned or anything.

I have to say, receiving this award is much better than the Stop Calling Me Award that my college boyfriend bestowed upon me when he found someone else. A week later he gave me the I Want You Back Award, but by that time I was working hard on his I’m Totally Over You And Your Narcissistic Ways And Your Band Isn’t Really That Good Anyway Award. (It's very prestigious. I've only given that one out once.)

So, naturally after Stephanie so kindly presented me with this award, my life became a whirlwind of one press junket after another. The paparazzi were relentless. They snapped this photo while I was trying to escape one of their agressive mobs in my car. I didn’t ask for this celebrity.

Now that my reign as being a Hooked Blog is nearing its end, and I’ve fulfilled almost all my duties (parades, ribbon cutting ceremonies, diaper changing ceremonies), I only have one more thing thing left to do. I need to pass this awesome honor on to you folks out there. I have assembled a list of categories for the award winners. When you accept your award, please do so in an orderly fashion.

These are in no particular order and there's a ton of them. Drum roll please…

The BBFF (Best Bloggy Friend Forever) Award goes to none other than Captain Dumbass over at Us and Them. At first, I worried that he wouldn’t accept something so pink, but then I just laughed because HE TOTALLY WOULD. For those of you with a touch of OCD, you’ll love him. He posts like 20 times a day. He is clever with the comments and the most wicked sense of humor. Like ever.

The Most Graceful Entrance Award goes to my best gal The Stiletto Mom. She’s snarky, she’s feisty and she may be a closet fan of Clay Aiken. I just don’t know. I would stalk her more regularly if I could, but her lawyer’s all, "Cease and desist…blah blah blah…not within 500 feet." Some people are so sensitive about personal space.

The Thanks Changing My Perspective on Things Award goes to Heather at Riding The Shortbus. She reached out to me when I cried to her for help. She keeps me in stitches, has issues with dressing herself and support undergarments.

The Most Inappropriate Handling of Macaroni and Cheese Award goes to Jen at Blissfully Caffeinated for her use (abuse?) of an innocent bunny on a box of pasta. She attacked the thing with such force that I can’t help but be in awe of her. If she comes at you with her thumb, I suggest you move out of her way. Quickly.

The Best Multi-Tasking in The Shower Award goes to Mommypie. She offered up unique tips and tricks that will take minutes off of that pesky morning routine.

The Person I Never Want to be Behind in Traffic Award goes to Jen over at Sprite's Keeper. She'll have you on the edge of your mini-van seat with her story of road rage with a clever twist that you'll never see coming. She is the hostess with the mostess and a personal assistant to one adorable Sprite.

The Most Consecutive Posts with Photos Award goes to Sherendipity. Her birthday is coming up like, soon, so give her a shout out.

The Best Seven Part Mini-Series About Hurricane Katrina Award goes to Mama Dawg over at Two Dogs Running. You should read her story. That fish had me in tears. On a lighter note, she loves squirrels. Not to eat. At least I don’t think so. Although, where has Jessie been?

The Best Dream Sequence in A Major Chain Department Store Award goes to For A Different Kind of Girl for her arousing tale of passion and birth control theft at Target. (I hear she's shopping around the movie rights.) She’s smart and sassy, yet she won’t tweet. She claims it's a "gateway" medium to more dangerous forms of communication.

The Thanks For Reminding Me What It's Really About Award goes to the lovely Margie at Puddinglegs And Other Childhood Ailments. She spins a mean story and she inspired me to always have candy handy. I'm so glad I found her.

The Cool Chick I Would Totally Hang With to Watch Television Award goes to Tuesday's Girl over at A Girl And Her Life. People find her site in the strangest ways. She often tweets about what she’s having for dinner which makes me hungry and less fulfilled with my bowl of cold cereal.

The Most Erotic Vegetable Award goes to Bee over at Bee’s Musings. Holy crap. Please don’t eat that thing. It will poke your eye out. Bee is hilarious and irreverent. Everything I aspire to be.

The I Like You, But Not In A Weird Way Award goes to Jenny the Bloggess. She is like sooo over me stalking her by now that she has her husband, Victor, bring me a sandwich while I sit waiting outside her house. Oddly enough, she and The Stiletto Mom have the same attorney. Yes, Jenny, I've been receiving those notices. I've used them to make you a beautiful bouquet of origami flowers.

The Out of Nowhere Award goes to Jenni over at Oscarelli. I just found her and she’s got the funny down. I struggled with this one because she almost received The Crushing Your Reality Award with her reveal to me that Viggo Mortenson of my five celebrity list has a vestigial tail. World. Tumbling. Down.

The Heart Bigger Than Texas Award goes to none other than Rhea of Texas Word Tangle. She’s super cool, has a pink cowboy hat that I totally covet and say’s clever things like “I wear worry like pantyhose.” If The Bloggess ever gets sick of me sleeping in my car outside her subdivision, I'm heading over to Rhea's. Also, I won Rhea's book drawing! I am thrilled and ready to read.

The What I Imagine is a Cool British Accent Award goes to Chris Wood. He’s British, ladies! He also says the word "flummoxed" a lot.

The Soon To Have The Coolest British Accent Award goes to Kat over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow. She’s moving to England. Maybe she could look Chris up and they could be flummoxed together? Wait. That doesn’t sound right.

The Thanks But You're Never Painting My House Award goes to Carolyn Online. She, uh....well, she should never be left alone with a can of paint. Never, ever.

The You Can Dance if You Want To Award goes to Ali over at Cheaper Than Therapy. She's got her finger on the pulse of all things pop culture, great shoes and she can dance. Yeah, white girl sho can dance.

The I Envy Your Hair and Fabulous Cheekbones Award goes to Maggie over at Okay, Fine Dammit! I'm pretty sure she has every blogging award out there so I'm giving her one for her looks. Her writing is beautiful and comforting to me.

The Girl I See Eye To Eye With Award goes to the beautiful Monkey of My Life As I See It. I read her because she's not afraid to speak her mind. She also is extremely creative and makes these rad baby onsies.

The Time Wasters at Work Award goes to Heinous. He took his readers on a riveting tour of his many work spaces at his job. He also thinks Pennsylvania has things called mountains. Shh. Don’t tell him that they're only hills.

The I'm Sorry Your Pants Split Open That One Time Award belongs to Beth over at Emtnester. Check her out. In her profile image she's sitting in a giant nest!

The Buyer Beware Award has to go to Sleep Deprivation Ninja for his expose on the follies of online shopping and the struggles of one ninja trying to expand his wardrobe just a little bit. You all know by now it's hard out there for a pimp, but you have no idea what it's like to be a ninja.

The Most Disgusting Picture I’ve Ever Seen Until I Realized What It Was Award definitely goes to The Dayton Time. She did some laundry with these nuts and…well, you should check it out for yourself.

The You Know Too Much About Grease II Award belongs to Ann over at Transition. She's awesome and I totally know what her front door looks like.

And last, but not least, The I Love Your Cookies Award goes to DeeMarie over at My Life in a Nutshell. Her avatar is a little cookie in heels. She is dang funny and the center of her mother’s universe, if only in her own mind.

It is your turn, folks, to pass out this award. The deal is that you need to pass it on to five other bloggers on which you are hooked. I kind of overstepped my bounds a little bit by passing out so many, but I love so many out there. Feel free to clip and paste the pink button to your blog or you can print it out and laminate it like I'm doing with mine.


Bee said...


Bee said...

Well, I am totally deserving and I wish I would have thought to shallack that penitomato but I didn't. I lightly salted it and licked the last little dribblet off my chin.

Bee said...

Oh yeah and um, congrats to you and the others. ;op

Ringleader said...

GET OUT! Of all the 4 people that read my blog... YOU are my favorite! This makes all the time I've spent ignoring my kids while I read (and occassionally wite)so totally worth it! Yeah me!

Anonymous said...

I'm verklempt. I'm overwhelmed. I'm a little bit drunk.

I can't imagine how I can follow up your post with anything nearly as witty and entertaining. But I'll try because I desperately want awards.

Thank you so much, my dear Steenky Bee. I will endeavor to deserve the honor you are bestowing upon me.

anna said...

Nice choices! I came over from the Stiletto Mom, so clearly I agree. I think I'll poke around a little more now.

The Stiletto Mom said...

Oh thank God Jen at Blissfully Caf is the one who is drunk on your site this weekend instead of me...I knew I liked her.

That being said, I had no idea what was going on tonight when I left American Girl with 15 (the count went up by three in the final hours) and all the flashbulbs went off. At first, I thought it was some pictures that got out that I took that night that I....oh wait...this may not be suitable for telling on your blog so I'll save it for my blog tomorrow.

Steenky, you are just the best Bee out there!!!!

Tracy Lynn said...

I am now bitter.

Wendy said...

Congratz! I'm glad the paparazzi seem to be enjoying you, as that picture rocks! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'll be a regular over here!

Kat said...

*starts acceptance speech* Thank You Thank you. You can hold your applause *crickets* Thank you Jen!

Anonymous said...

Yay! An award! Thank you so much SB!

I AM going to laminate it, put it on a lanyard and hang it from my shower.

I'm off to check out all your wieners ...

Heinous said...

Many, many sincere thanks for the award! No work hours were harmed in the making of that blog. Okay, maybe one. That was just because it was a pain to get all those pics linked.

Five people huh? I can do that. Even though you picked lots of the people I read. Have you been browsing my feeds?

Congrats to everyone else too. You may not want to thank Jen just yet though. I could end up stalking your blogs as well.

Captain Dumbass said...

"In no particular order..." BUT I AM NUMBER ONE!!!!! Steenky, I don't care how pink your award is or even if it came shaped like a My Little Pony, I will hold it high and wave it in the faces of the little people. I may even have it painted onto my man-van since there's a lot of space there and I could show it off to the greatest number of people. Of course, I'm unemployed now and spend my days like a hermit and my neighbours would just point and shake their heads at my ridiculously painted pink mini-van but TO HELL WITH THEM! They are the little people and I bathe in their jealousy.

I think stella got her groove back...

And how am I supposed to nominate 5 people when you've taken everyone?

monkey said...

oh, miss jenboglass, i'm touched. and it feels nice. thank you, m'lady. (i figured the weird and oddly suggestive thank you might sound a little less creepy with an old fashioned term on endearment tacked on the end.)

Sleep Deprivation Ninja said...

Hot damn. I'm honored. Did you leave anyone out ;)

I always appreciate you being around.


Trish said...

Hello. Just found your blog recently. And I must say, I'm quite enjoying the read; now I have another person to add to my blogroll. (Stalk?)

I'll need to check out the other sites you've linked to as well. They sound like fun too!

DeeMarie said...

Thanks so much, SB! I have so enjoyed getting to know you (ie stalking you constantly) through your blog. There's no way I can top your awards ceremony but I will pass on the love. And I'm laminating my award and turning it into a necklace! :). Thanks, again. I feel so special!

Carolyn...Online said...

Thanks steenky bee/jenboglass! I'm totally coming to your house to help you paint. As a thank you. No seriously.

Maggie, Dammit said...


Dude, first of all, you are hysterical. Second of all, YOU ARE A SAINT. I have this weird pseudo-policy about awards, but what you have done here blows my theories out of the water. This is so kind, and generous, and thoughtful (what was that you said about my cheekbones again?) and it must have taken you FOREVUH. You have given each of us listed a gift, for real - and you listed some damn fine folks, my friend.

I love this. Thank you sososososososososo much. Your karma just shot up like Vesuvius. Trust.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

This is, quite possibly, the finest award post I have every had the priveledge of reading. Also, I'm very sorry that I couldn't drive you to the hospital but my attorney advised against it and really you should let people know that you're deathly allergic to peanuts before you just eat an entire PB&J sandwich. I would have made you egg salad if you'd asked.

Sherry said...

This is so awesome. I can totally do the whole "Take that bitches!!" and the whole "In your face!!" to everyone now, because I'M SOMEBODY, DAMN IT!!! and I have my little pink square to prove it! because Jen loves me!
(by the way, was that 20 bucks that I paid you to do this enough? because I can totally budget in another $2.95. you just let me know.)

Tuesday Girl said...

Wow you read al ot of blogs!

Thank you my dear, I love you almost as much as I love Gossip Girl.
If you wore more headbands it would be a closer race.
i made the same suggestion to Obama.

Okay, I am going now.

Anndi said...

You LIKE me!!! You REALLY like me!!!

Man am I glad I didn't open the front door when my "friends" showed up for the "You know too much about Grease II" intervention!


Thanks... really!


And congrats to the rest of blogdom on their respective awards!

Chris Wood said...

Woohoo! Thanks!

Well, I'm going to slur my cool British accent straight away with many celebratory pints. Cheers!

gingela5 said...

Wow--you gave a lot of awards--pretty much to everyone but me. I mean I know we've only "known" each other for a week but come on! hehe just joking!

HeatherPride said...

OK, I had just left a very lengthy and totally post-worthy comment on here a second ago but the damn blogger comment thingy was down (again! get with the program, blogger! jeez.) Anyhoo, WOW, thanks for the shout out! I'm totally going to shrinky dink that bad boy and turn him into dangly earrings!

Also - The Bloggess is commenting on your site! I'm pretty sure that means you are almost famous. Or about to win the lottery. Either way, it's awesome!

Jenni said...

Oh. My. God. My first award! Squeee!

Sorry for being the one to break the tail news to you, but I could not, in good faith, let you find out should you ever have the chance to meet Viggo. Although I have no experience in this, I'm willing to guess finding out the person your getting busy with has a tail MIGHT be a turn off.

for a different kind of girl said...

You crack me up! Thank you! Thank you for the award and for giving me more blogs to go read, thereby sucking more of my time away from these three other people who live in my house. I don't know why they insist on referring to me as "Mom" or "Hey!" I don't remember who these people are!

The twitting...oh, you will tire of my twitting... ;)

You rock!

Sprite's Keeper said...

Wow! You gave me an award! And it just happened to be appropriate for the motoring oopsie I pulled just last week! Who woulda thought? So, who did I beat out? Was it close? Tell me I was the landslide victor! Even if it's not true, just tell me. I feel so loved!... Wait, I just read the rest of the comments. Jen, the BLOGGESS commented on your site. Now, I feel unpopular... That was a short-lived high.

Mama Dawg said...

It's about time someone of your caliber awarded me something.

(did that sound ungrateful?)

All kidding aside, THANKS!!!!! This made my very crappy Sunday (since I'm at work this glorious AM).

And, when did Captain Dumbass get bunny ears on his avatar? I love 'em.

Vodka Mom said...

that was insanely funny! Thanks for the chuckles....hahahaha.

Beccabec said...

Thanks for giving me some insight into some great blogs!

Ilina said...

Good grief! I don't have time to read all the fabulousness you linked to. I'm totally signing up for your RSS feed.

Ali said...

thank you thank you thank you!
best award ever.

also? i kind of hate you that you gave me all these new blogs to thanks for that too...heh

love you!

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