Today I’m participating in the Spin Cycle hosted by the divine Sprite’s Keeper. I’ve been lurking these group blogging topics on her site for a while and decided that it was getting a little creepy to just keep stalking her. The topic this week is Confessions. Could I have picked a better week to join? I don't think so.
I’m not going to unload some deep, dark secret on you. There will be no truth bombs here today. I think I’m only up for a truth grenade or two. Wait. Is that worse? I don’t know. Either way, someone’s losing a limb.
But first, allow me to ramble slightly-off topic.
If anyone knows what it’s like to be unsettled by an unsuspected truth bomb, it’s me. A few months ago, Jeremy turns to me and starts telling me how much he likes Sylvester Stallone movies. What? He waits eight years into our marriage to lay that nugget on me? You should have seen how excited he was. I was stunned. I could see his lips moving but the shock of his love for all things Sly Stallone forced me into some slow motion tunnel moment where I could no longer hear the words coming from his mouth. I was snapped back into reality when I heard him quoting the Italian Stallion. He was all, “Adrianne! Adrianne!”
I looked at Jeremy and calmly told him I needed a moment. I excused myself and retreated to the bedroom where I huddled in the corner and just sort of rocked back and forth. After I regained composure, I went to our local Blockbuster and rented Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot and Over The Top. I swear to you, these were the only Stallone films they had in stock. (And by “only” I mean, the two worst picks I could find.)
Together we watched those movies that night in an effort to cure his case of Stalloneitis. It backfired on me, big time. For the next week, Jeremy walked around the house wearing his baseball cap turned backwards and challenging me to arm wrestling matches.
But this post is about MY truth bomb, or truth grenade, not my husband's. And since I’m not giving you anything too scandalous, I’m offering you a short list of my harmless confessions.
Jen’s Truth Grenades:
1. I have a woobie. It’s a blanket that I love. I wrap it around my waist when I get home from work and wear it around the house. I’ve been known to wear it outside in our yard and even to a few family functions.
2. I acquired this woobie less than a year ago.
3. I purposely watch some television programs on our wide screen television so that the actresses look wider than they actually are. This makes me feel better about myself. I am not alone in this. Mydogumentary does this too.
4. I know way too much about everything Spongebob. I completely identify with Plankton.
5. It takes me two hours to get ready in the morning. I’ve tried to work on my shower, hair and make up routine to see what I can omit or refine. I just can’t seem to shave off any time.
6. I don’t think I’m pretty.
7. I didn’t write that last one just so you would tell me that I’m pretty.
8. I often feel insignificant around my best friends. I just look at them and think how smart, beautiful, kind, generous and funny they are. I wonder what Sara, Julee and Roslin see in me.
9. I really want The Simpson's DVD collection for Christmas. This isn't so much as a confession as it is a hint. My family reads this.
10. I don’t like seeing a stranger’s feet. Especially if you’re a man who also happens to be a stranger.
11. I talk to myself. All the time.
12. I don’t hold grudges. I forgive and forget. But if you hurt me bad enough, you'll never get a piece of me back. I save that piece for myself.
13. The most comforting sound to me is my dad’s voice on the phone.
14. I saw a therapist for the first time this week.
15. I felt invigorated when I left his office.
16. This list isn’t very interesting.
17. I may have forgotten some of my times tables.
18. I am not anal about anything. For realsies. I’m embarrassed about this. I’m not complacent or careless. I’m just not anal.
19. I have two stray hairs on my chin.
20. I don't dislike Sylvester Stallone as much as I claim to.