June 30, 2009

Sometimes We Run Fast

This past weekend, Henry and I entered ourselves in a local 5-K race. At age four and a half, Henry didn’t fully grasp the concept of exactly what a 5-K entailed. I was clued in on this fact when Henry repeatedly chanted in my face, “I’m gonna beat you when I go faster! I’m gonna beat everyone in the face!”

Whoa, wait a minute. Did my son just say he was going to beat everyone in the face? Indeed he did.

You can imagine the nerves I had leading up to the race. My son had a plan and it involved one of two things; 1) He would run really, really fast, or 2) He would run really, really fast and quite possibly give an innocent by-stander a black eye for no reason.

Here’s my little athlete on race morning.

Notice the sleek styling of his running outfit. He insisted that he wear his Superman shirt because it would make him "go real fast". In hindsight, having him dressed in such vibrant colors was a good idea, because once the race started, my little boy just took off, full-bore leaving me behind. I used his brightly colored clothes and his white tuft of hair bouncing up and down to keep track of him.

Just after we arrived at the athlete’s starting area, Henry noticed the organizers had booths of fruit, bagels and donuts set up for the racers. Instead of opting for a healthy choice, my little man double-fisted a pair of glazed donuts.


As Henry stood around with white pastry glaze stuck to a large portion of his face, he noticed some nearby racers stretching their legs out to prepare for the race. Not wanting to appear like a rookie, Henners quickly followed suit. Here, Henry does his interpretation of "Crane with Donut".


I'm not sure what this move is.


I'm REALLY not sure what this move is.


After Henry was all limbered up, he and I spent the next little bit trying to look menacing in the hopes that we would intimidate the competition with our pre-race posing.

Unfortunately for us, no one really took notice. Henry and I spent so much time trying to psyche out the competition that we never heard the starting pistol sound and didn't begin running until a good two or three minutes after the actual race had started.

The rest of the race was fairly uneventful. Unless you count the times Henners stopped mid-stride, turned around and shouted, “Hurry Mommy! You’re being too slow!” or the time he ran along side the police escort car that was flanking the racers and warned the officer, “Don't you arrest us!”

All in all, my little man did a super job in his first race. Not only did Henry run almost 2 miles on his own, he never once beat anyone in the face. My cute parents even drove all the way down and joined Jeremy and Reese to sit on the side of the road as spectators and cheer him on as he raced by. Of course, once he saw them sitting there shouting and clapping for him, he mistook them for the finish line and ran up to them and announced, “I WIN!”

Jeremy and I believe that all Henry needs now is a little guidance, more practice and a trainer/agent who is willing to take the fall in the event an unfortunate blood doping scandal surfaces.

84 comments:

GreenJello said...

Henners has a lot more oomph than I have. And you, too.

Maybe I need to get on the "Couch Potato to 5K" program.

Or maybe not.

GreenJello said...

Wait... maybe all I need to do is buy me a Superman shirt, and then I can run fast.

Sweet!

JuleeSLC said...

Way to go, Henry!! Love the Superman shirt and MUST get one before my next run.

In addition to avoiding any blood doping scandals, tell Henners to stay off the juice (and I'm not talking the apple or orange variety). Your words of wisdom can be interspersed with photos of the Bonds, Sosa and Pudge (to name just a few).

Kristina P. said...

His face in that first picture is hilarious!

You remind me of my sister. She took my 4 year-old nephew on a 5 K, and he loved it.

kyooty said...

Awesomeness! extreme Awesomeness! GO Henry, ohand your mom! :)

Lizgizzy said...

Way to go! Henry has way more oomph than my little guy!

Rebekah said...

Cripes! I'm amazed by you guys! Also? I think somebody's mama needs a Superman shirt...

Just sayin'

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

Love it! He did so awesome, way better than I would have done...I would have been toast after the donut...

Sprite's Keeper said...

Alright, Henry!
If I wear Superman underwear, will that make me go faster?

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Go Henry go! Don't wind up a pathetic lump of couch luggage like Ol' Diary here. If you keep runnin like that and try to be single fisted in the doughnut area, you will never have to lay down and zip your pants with a pair of pliers.

the Mayor said...

Active mom award to you this week. All my kids have wanted to do since school got out a week ago is stay up late and sleep in late.

The apple don't fall far from the tree.

Dr Zibbs said...

Excellent.

Cat said...

Dude, if I had your outfit I'd probably run in more 5Ks. Very aerodynamic.

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) said...

I think it is great that you and Henry ran a race together. My dad did it with my 7 year old niece and they got lost and ended up running an extra mile or two. She did a great job at it but continued to yell at my dad about getting them lost.

Did I mention she can be a brat?

Yeah, whatever. :-)

Middle Aged Woman said...

Superkid and his Mom look great! Congrats on the race. Can't wait until Superkid number two gets in on the action!

Ms. Salti said...

I love the stretching poses. Very professional looking! Did you do the Artsy Fartsy festival 5k? I didn't even know about it until it was over!

Casey said...

I walked to the mailbox today and I about died from exhaustion. Henners is my new hero. Oh yeah, good job to you too but he totally stole your thunder.

Amo said...

The socks. I couldn't get past the socks.

My sons INSIST on pulling them up to their knees whether they are ankle socks or not.

Heaven help.

Pamela said...

Nobody noticed the stretching because of that giant blob you call hair was blocking the view of your stretchy go-go gadget ass.

And seriously. Spandex? Jeremy let you out of the house like that?

Also, for the record, because everything in West Blogoslovakifornia is ON THE RECORD, and also to explain, I only noticed you were wearing spandex because I had to stare and stare at the picture of you stretching to actually comprehend which was the hair and which was the stretching.

Bex said...

wow! henry! you are tough!

steenky, despite being a dirty hooker, you are such a great mom! cheers to you for being a grand influence on your son. i appreciate all children (including my own) who immediately tell off a cop. not bc i dislike cops - but bc its rebellious and i heart rebels.

Susan said...

Oh my gosh... those pictures are priceless!! And WHERE does that toehead hair color come from???

Hysterical.

Did he seriously run it? Skip it? Holy crap. Go Henry.

Jenni said...

it's always a good day when no one gets beat in the face.

Miss Grace said...

Gabriel has that shirt. Because our boys are awesome.

April said...

i'm glad he didn't beat anyone in the face. although, it would have made for some spectacular blogging ;-)

Jennifer said...

Wow, he did great. When I signed my kids up to do a run with me, my daughter stood in front of the escort squad car and yelled "My mother is soooo mean!!! I hate this race!!!!" and refused to move.

Dana's Brain said...

I'm seriously not sure I could run a two mile race. With or without a Superman shirt.

Actually, I just thought about it some more. Henners would totally beat me in my face.

Tuesday Girl said...

So you are just going to rub it in that your 5 year old has more stamina and goals than I do??
How dare you!

Sell...Party Of 3 said...

Thank you for making me giggle! All those cool moves had me bustin' a gut! =)

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

That little super man managed to run almost two miles AND tell a police officer, “Don't you arrest us!”?

I'm in love, I'm in love!

Dingo said...

I think he ran so fast because the cop was after his donut.

Oh, c'mon! Someone had to go for the cheap laugh! It might as well be me.

Fantastic Forrest said...

Impressive, most impressive.

I wish I had a Henners to help whip me into shape. Daring Daughter whines if she has to walk from one room to another. She gets that from me.

Captain Dumbass said...

Sorry I'm late, my computer's still in hock. Hawk? I don't know. To be honest, I'm not even sure what that phrase means and I'm was just trying to be funny but since I'm explaining it now the whole thing is pretty much dead. Much like my iPod batteries. Sure, it's a technological marvel, but it uses as much power as a nuclear sub. Hmm, I might use that line in a post. What were we talking about? Whatever, I have to ease into my Needs More Cream In His Coffee followed by Let Sleeping Dog Rest.

Chris Wood said...

Just keep him off the steroids!

jen said...

good job mama! and henry!
what fun!

FoN said...

Nice job steenky bee and Henry! I'm totally impressed. I think Henry is my soul mate, because I warm up with donuts too.

Connie Weiss said...

LOL! He is too cute in that outfit! And you look pretty cute too. No doubt this is how you are able to stay so trim while eating multiple hotdogs.

Wicked Step Mom said...

Got to love his enthusiasm! I hope you both had fun!

Melanie D said...

Wow great job Henry!! Love the warm up pictures!! Damn I was really hoping to see a picture of him beating someone in the face!!! LOL

kel said...

This post me realize that I really need to get my ass off the couch.... and go watch a 5k race.

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

WooHoo Henry! Maybe a glazed donut and a superman shirt is what I need to motivate me to run...or not. ;)

Kristina P. said...

Hey, you! You doing OK over there?

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Beating opponents in the face is the only way to go when in competitions.

I am proud of you.

You are raising him right.

Krystal said...

okay, that is so not fair he is just so derned cute and such a good sport, my kids would so not go for that.

But you must be so proud of him and extatic that nobody got hurt. Planning on doing another one soon?

Captain Dumbass said...

Hey. Just stopping by because I'm rebuilding my blog reader.

My oldest called me evil tonight. Just sayin.

apathy lounge said...

The cuteness! My left ovary just exploded.

shopgirl said...

Ok - so I just completed my 2nd run ever and now I'm feeling even more pressure to keep up with HENNERS!! This is great - did he really run with you? That's awesome.

I wish I could say that I enjoy the running -but so far, unt uhhh.. but I'll get there right?

Kingsmom said...

The stretches are classic. Very good. Congrats to you both.

Jess said...

Yeah...I don't even like to drive two miles...BUT if there is beer at the end I will at least bike there. Henry is just toooo cute! I love his faces!

Shanna said...

I totally dig this post! Henry is TOO cute and holy hell that picture of the two of you posing is the BEST picture EVER!
It's awesome that he ran it with you! I've been trying to convince my two daughters to run one with me but so far no luck...maybe they need Wonder Woman outfits?!

DeeMarie said...

He would've totally beat me in the face. Of this I have no doubt.
Your runner's pose is awesome. Totally worth missing the start.
Loves.

Bronston Kingston said...

It looks like he could run as fast as superman

King of New York Hacks said...

Something to never forget.

Tricia said...

These photos are hilarious!

jerlyn said...

Hi Steenky Bee, long time since I've been over. Your son is adorable, definitely a future Olympic racer. Think it's fantastic to get the kids involved
in these type of things.
Had my car totalled 2 weeks ago, so
not into too much athletics right now. (For me athletics involved
hiking, golf and drinking coolers).

and yes Cpt. Dumbass does have a brother, same size, same good looks, same evil sense of humor.

Kaylen said...

I need a superman shirt to make me move more in general!!

This was awesome, he's adorable!

HeureuseLesFleur said...

So cute! My kids ran their first 5k this summer, but they aren't as near as cute! :-)

Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

King of New York Hacks said...

I do all the same prep work before I drive all night !! LOL

A Tired Wife said...

So, I'm back and trying to post at least semi-regularly again. How about you join me?

The new (and much more smart ass me) blog is linked, but you know me as Buzzin By.

Mwaaahhhhh!
~Debbie

GTR said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JaneLively said...

Just found your fun blog! Love your graphics and pix.

The Stiletto Mom said...

Hi,

Just stopping by to let you know it's September.

SEPTEMBER.

That is all,
Mary Anne

Lisa said...

Im with Stiletto mom....

Not sure where you are but theres no internet there???

Lizgizzy said...

Where oh where art thou Stinky Bee! You are missed. I hope all is well.

SPEAKING FROM THE CRIB said...

i have a henry too but he hates running. unless it is to chase the dog or the icecream truck

Maggie, Dammit said...

Where you at, girl?

Hope everything's okay.

Krystal said...

Um, it's almost October - been thinking about texting u to make sure u are still alive but I don't want a crazy person to find my number and then stalk me....miss you much!!! you have not even stopped by my new site....still love you though!!!

krista said...

i was just thinking about you today...hoping you're well.

Anonymous said...

Hello, I miss seeing your hilarious blog entries. I hope you are well.

Ali said...

Off to follow you on twitter to get my steenky bee fix!

Ms. Salti said...

You're dead, aren't you?

booshy said...

I didn't even know what running WAS when I was 4...or that you got free donuts. I may have paid more attention had I known you got to do more than just, well, run.

The ironic thing? Now I'm a runner...

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By the way look at the design I've made myself Russian escort

The Stiletto Mom said...

Hi! Have you heard it's now December? Sometimes I like to just stop by and announce the month.

New header gives me the sads but I still love you. :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
tagskie said...

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Anonymous said...
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Maggie May said...

Really worried about you. I emailed you a month or two ago, haven't heard back. Please let us know what is going on!

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literallylisa said...

Seriously buddy. Its been 6 month... 6 MONTHS. Some of us are at different urls... feel free to email that youre still alive... I see youve tweeted withen 6 months... blog?
Lisa
(was alldaymom.blogspot.com)

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