February 17, 2009

Am I Random Or Just Wearing A Sweater Vest?

So everyone, I mean everyone is participating in Random Tuesday Thoughts sponsored by Keely over at The Un-Mom. I thought I’d give it a try this week and I have to say, it’s so cathartic. I very much loved clearing out all the junk rattling around in head. I need to do the same thing with all the junk in my trunk.

No, not that kind of junk
Okay, just a small clarification before we get rolling here. The “junk in my trunk” I mentioned above in no way refers to my backside, m’kay? I honestly do have a bunch of junk in my car trunk including a stroller, an empty Macy’s bag, at least three clean diapers and maybe one dirty diaper. Please don't judge me.

Reason #264 that I love my husband
A few weeks ago I was leaving a comment on Tattooed Minivan Mom’s site and I needed the correct spelling for a particular word.
“Honey?” I shouted down stairs, “How do you spell ‘douche’?”
Without skipping a beat he hollered, “D-O-U-C-H-E.”
He never asked me why. True love. Forever.

Reason # 5 that I now love the dollar store
I’ve never really spent much time at dollar stores until one moved into a shopping center near our home. As of late, I stop by at least once a week to pick up dish soap, cleaning supplies and cookies for the kids’ lunches. Last week, I took Henry and Reese along with me so that they could each pick out a toy as a reward for their good behavior. (Henry picked out a ninja sword and Reese snagged a flute, in case you’re wondering.)

Anyway, as I made my way to the register, a pile of pink boxes along one of the aisles caught my eye. I recognized them as my tampon of choice. I honestly let out a little gasp of joy when I saw them stacked on the shelf. I ran over, examined all the boxes carefully to make sure that I was, in fact, purchasing Tampax brand tampons and not some knock-off brand like “Timpax”.

I threw as many boxes as I could manage into my basket, then urged my four-year old son to carry several boxes in his little arms and follow me up to the front register. He dropped most of them along the way and ended up kicking them with along the floor for me.

Sure, I got strange glances from my fellow shoppers as I held a baby in one arm, and urged my son to “Kick harder! Get those boxes up there!” But then again, I am now the proud owner of 17 boxes of Tampax at the cool price of a buck a box. Score.

I’m irregular
I really need to get myself organized and start posting regularly again. I’d like to set a schedule to log on and read everyone again. My internet usage is pathetic these days. I sneak on here and there, but my blog-stalking time has taken a severe blow.

Should I copy write this?
Severe Blow would be a great name for an album name, don’t you think?

Maybe I should just submit it instead?
.....orrrr, maybe an entry to urbandictionary.com? Take your pick.

I’m too sexy for this sweater vest
No one has told me to “party-hearty” ever. I thought about this for a while this morning while I was getting ready for work. I’ve decided I’m totally fine with this. People either take one look at me and 1) immediately know that I won’t be the life of the party, or 2) they figure that I’m plenty capable of partying and need no urging to get my party on. The high-collared shirt and sweater vest ensemble I’m wearing right now leads me to believe it might be the first one.

63 comments:

Pamela said...

Oh you're the life of the party, alright. Because when you take that sweater vest off, things get kicked into high gear.

ChurchPunkMom said...

second!

Ali said...

I can't be trusted in dollar stores--I go in looking for Campbell's French Onion soup and come out with notebooks with dogs on them, 5 boxes of cookies, AND garden knick knacks!

Jenny Grace said...

The Dollar Store is an excellent place to buy a pregnancy test. Because they're $1 instead of $12

Casey said...

You know how I know we're meant to be (you and me, that is)? I went to the Dollar Store last week specifically looking for maxi pads. Not for me, you know, for my two year old son. He pees out of his diaper every night and they make those overnight pads you put in their diaper but they discontinued them so I decided to have "the talk" with him and let him know that he's growing up and becoming a woman and went to get maxi pads for his diaper. Anyway, they didn't have them there and I don't think your Timpax would have done the trick. I guess that doesn't make us alike but I still love you. The Dollar Store does rock and we have several of those cheesy fall apart flutes laying around here.

I look forward to you getting regular again. In my case, going on the pill helped. Oh, you meant with blogging.

Anonymous said...

Do you think your husband might've asked a teensy, weensie question if you'd hollered down the stairs the age-old advertising query, "honey, do you douche?"
Happy Randomness! :)

Sprite's Keeper said...

One question to clarify: How many tampons were in each box?

Dr Zibbs said...

"Junk in the trunk" - I've always loved that line.

Anonymous said...

Severe Blow - album definitely (or sex manual title?).

I think people definitely recognise that you "party hearty" and so feel no need to waste their breath instructing you to do so.

blissfully caffeinated said...

My husband loves a Severe Blow. I always want to apply it to his head but...wait, this comment really isn't turning out the way I planned it.

P.S. I love a sweater vest. It's my favorite type of sweater.

blissfully caffeinated said...

10th Suckas!

Momma Trish said...

I've been missing you horribly!! Please return to regular posting as soon as possible.

The son with the tampax? Priceless!

Petra a.k.a The Wise (*Young*) Mommy said...

You are the life of my party every day baby! RAWR!

And I also love the dollar store--they also have pregnancy tests, in case you ever find yourself in that particular predicament and want to take 10 tests in a day without having to take out a loan.

Not that I would know anything about that.

michelle said...

I completely meant to post something witty or profound or just stupid, but reading the comments (especially Casey... CASEY!) I started laughing, snorting diet pepsi across my computer, and because I have a cold, now have snot running all over my face and can't find a tissue and am contemplating using my sleeve but since I do the laundry in my house, I must run to the ladies room for some crunchy school tissue but now I am wondering if I pass a dollar store on the way home to get some cheap tissues that are somewhat soft for my tender rudolph-red nose to bring to school tomorrow but I have to hide them from teho kids because my students EAT tissues I swear! they just disappear so fast! and the thought of all this completely made me forget my original comment.

This blogging can do that to you, ya know?

I will never buy Tampax again and not think, "I am getting ripped off, this should only cost a buck?"

The Farmers Wife said...

Oh bright and shiney day! Its so refreshing to read your posts. I was getting close to the end of my rope just before clicking on your page. I have been playing torpedo dart attacker with hot glue sticks, and I just cant take it anymore. But Alas, there you were to save the day, sweater vest and all! Appreciate it!

ChurchPunkMom said...

see how slow i am? *wipes pizza sauce off her face..*

now, where was I?

oh yeah.. second.. and 16th! sweet 16!

who doesn't love a man who can spell douche on command no questions asked? who? no one, that's who. you've got yourself a winner there. ;)

and yeah, I got some junk in my trunk too.. what of it?

oh, wait.. no I don't. I don't even have a trunk anymore. excuse me.. I'm gonna go cry now...

Bex said...

severe blow ... that's what she said!

(what, can you "that's what she said" a blog comment? is this even legal?)

Keely said...

"severe blow"....album name AND concept. Definitely.

I love Dollar Stores. I always find things like bathtub plugs for a dollar, to replace the ones my son puts...somewhere.

Is it silly that I'm kind of honored you played our Tuesday game with us?? :)

Captain Dumbass said...

Maybe Jeremy didn't ask because he was worried you'd actually tell him. But ya, true love.

Oh, and I only sat down at the computer to decide what I was going to have for lunch but then I saw you'd posted and had to stop. Now I've eaten an entire roll of gummy Life Savers and I still don't know what to have for lunch.

Anonymous said...

Wow!! Tampax for a buck each!!! shit - I gotta see if the one close to me has them. With my luck I will prolly only find Tampix and in the steel wool variety. Yeah, the Dollar Store near by sucks!

Oh and don't worry about the lapse of blogging on my account - I'm lost too!!! But I do miss you tons!!

Anonymous said...

I just paid $6 for a box of tampons. Seriously. Sure, they have a plastic applicator, which is nice, but isn't $6 a little pricey for what amounts to an oversized Q-Tip with a string attached?

Peggy said...

A ninja sword, a flute and 17 boxes of tampax...that's quite an order!

My Dollar Stores are icky and the only way they'd get my business is if they started selling wine.

Mrsbear said...

I'm sure you totally rock the sweater vest. Congrats on the sweet tampon deal too, I'd have done the same except for the kicking down the aisle part. I use my stroller as a shopping basket on wheels, it works in tight spaces. And because I'm lazy.

Heather said...

Yeah...that really is true love!!!
I have mice poison that spilled in the back on my trunk.

GreenJello said...

Sweater vests. Hmmm. I used to have some of those. Back in high school. They were TOTALLY 80's man.

I will laugh when my teen daughter buys one. She says she hates 80's styles (and yet just bought a fluorescent green and black checked shirt the other day).

You're just bringing the style back, baby!

for a different kind of girl said...

A buck a box for tampons!? I am totally raging here because of what I pay for the generic store brand! The dollar store in my town went out of business after a few months, and yet the signs are still on the building, clearly to mock me and my full-price paying self.

Stacy Uncorked said...

Loving your randomness - your hubby is a keeper and Dollar stores rock!

Happy Random Tuesday! :)

Pamela said...

Also, regarding tampons. One day, I will use tampons again. One day, I will not be pregnant. Oh, the bliss and joy.

I second the thought that the dollar store should sell wine.

zipbagofbones said...

Tampons: my arch nemesis(s). Let's hope they never join forces with Wal-Mart, or I'm done for.

We miss you, too.

Kat said...

It is 12:30 AM England time but I couldn't go to sleep until I read your post. Jeremy is awesome. I wish my husband would help me with my spelling woes.

HeatherPride said...

$1 Tampax?? I'd have had Logan take Henners out for a bargain like that!

But then I totally would have bought Henners a new ninja sword to make up for it.

Pseudo said...

Your husband sounds awesome.

Jenni said...

D-O-U-C-H-E! LOL! Classic!

FoN said...

Dollarama is the greatest place on earth. Where else can you get super cheap knock off peices of crap made by ten year-olds in other countries??

dizzy mom said...

Did you really talk about tampons and then start the next section with "I'm Irregular"? You know they have a pill for that.

Anonymous said...

I've done the Tampax thing but it's usually with boxes of chocolate fingers.
Reduced to half price? I'll take every box you have my good man!

Vodka Mom said...

severe blow?? My husband has another definition for that.

Vodka Mom said...

and he ain't gettin' one.........

Vodka Mom said...

cause I forgot.......he's dead..........

Vodka Mom said...

hey- this is fun!! A conversation with myself!!!

Wicked Step Mom said...

I love sweater vests... I know I am a huge dork. But, I am okay with it.

Anonymous said...

Severe blow or Severe head trauma. Either one sounds good.

DeeMarie said...

Off to the Dollar Store....

Unknown said...

Glad to know all is well in the Steenky Bee household ...

Tuesday Girl said...

Please. The dollar tree is my go-to store for pregnancy tests.
No matter I used so many I should have jsut bought one regular overpriced one because I was thinking it wasn't right because itr was after all, just $1.

Mama Dawg said...

Um.....where's the pic of the 17 boxes of Tampax? That would have been an awesome pic. Like, make 'em into a fort or something. With Henners peeking out over the top. Very cool.

Susan said...

Holy shit, I'm dying at Vodka Mom's comments... and holy shit again...I'm heading out to shop for tampons tomorrow. Dolla' Shoppin'.

DKC said...

The real question here is: Is it an argyle sweater vest? Because if it is, we are talking a whole different degree of partying.

HarryJack's Mom said...

You DO need to be more regular, because I miss you <3, but then again, how long did it take me to read this? I think Severe Blow would be totally FIERCE....I crack myself up when I try to be cool ;-)
Happy week to you and your vest and your awesome hubby! Yes, I did type that word

Anonymous said...

Random thoughts? You've just described my entire blog.

April said...

holy good everything! i LOVE THE DOLLAR STORE!!! did you know you can get things by the case online? and if you don't see what you saw in the store you can email them and they'll track it down for you?!

www.dollartreedirect.com

i'm totally not affiliated with them.

but i TOTALLY WISH I WERE!

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you're irregular. I suggest eating grapes, that really helped me. Or Metamucil. :D

Anonymous said...

I'm trying to remember in what context you used the word douche?

And

I love a good severe blow.

jori-o said...

I love your random thoughts! ...and so it's YOU who's bringing the sweater(vest)back...?

Preston said...

Here! Here! Obviously, your husband knows you quite well.

Anonymous said...

hee hee, I have not had to buy tampax for a year now. it is awesome. If I did, I would have had all 3 of my kids load up on them for a buck a box.

Leslie said...

I am so with you on the irregular thing. I've had a hard time lately just getting all my crap in order so I can post more consistently too. It's just so HARD! what with taking care of everything else you're supposed to take care of like work, family, Facebook, unual habits, etc. etc. Good luck and I do hope you find more time to be "regular"!

Tracy Rambles On And On said...

Your husband sounds so much like mine. I once called and asked if a person, no me of course, could get rabies or some other deadly infection from a baby mole bite.
He googled it and said "Nope" and I said "Ok, thanks! Love ya!"

He knows I'm lucky to make it through the day.

Susan said...

You make me feel better knowing now i'm not the only one who has to take some time away from blog world... was just checking in today!

Kingsmom said...

I had just taken a swig of coffee when I read "Timpax" and came really close to loosing it out my nose. Thanks for the laugh.

Captain Dumbass said...

It's super windy right now. SL didn't sleep well last night and I'm trying to keep the kids quiet. I'm almost out of coffee. What should I have for breakfast?

for a different kind of girl said...

Hope things are well you're way...miss your spirit out here in the world.

Red Cup Mom said...

They don't have shopping carts at the dollar store? I love mine too. It's great for holiday stuff for the kiddos.

DB is a new favorite term of art... douchebag for the uninitiated.

I was on a blogging hiatus too. It's hard to keep everything going on along esp. when we have moons that interfere with life.