The Friday Five

Depression makes you see the world differently. It makes you think differently. Recently, I’ve been in a little funk. Nothing serious and certainly nothing that some comfortable sweats and some ice cream couldn't take care of. Only, I don’t eat ice cream. So I’m just down to the sweat pants.

I've noticed my patterns have been off lately due to said funk. Normally, I’ve got some scheme to get out of the house. But the past weekend I behaved a little differently. Below is a list of five things that were out of the ordinary for me.

1. I watched a Dane Cook comedy special…willingly. I actually researched it out, planned ahead of time and revolved my schedule around watching it on Saturday night. What? I have been actively avoiding all things Dane Cook for almost 18 months. To tell you the truth, it hasn’t been that hard. For a while there, he was all over the map. He was in the tabloids, in movies, on Major League Baseball Commercials!(?) But as of late, The Cook has been laying low, under the radar. But for some reason, this weekend, I felt compelled to plop down on the sofa and watch his stand-up. And I laughed.

2. I agree with Lindsay Lohan. Not so much about her well documented additiction to leggings or the aggressive use of self tanner, but on politics. I KNOW. Who saw that one coming? Lindsay, or her publisist wrote the following on her blog about all the uproar regarding her personal family life:

“I think the real problem comes from the fact that we are taking the focus off of getting to know Sarah Palin and her political views, and what she can do to make our country a less destructive place. Its distracting from the real issues, the real everyday problems that this country experiences.”

Not that I'm all for the chick with all the hair clips as Vice President or anything, but I think La Lohan has a point.

3. Vegetables lost their humor. Our kind neighbors brought over a bunch of tomatoes, zucchini and banana squash from their garden this weekend. My husband immediately ran up stairs to show me the impressive array of colors and textures and shapes. Jeremy knows that I love an odd shaped zucchini. Who doesn’t? It’s mother nature’s way of saying ’That’s what she said’. And let me tell you, there were some doozies in there. There were more phallic shaped zucchinis than you could shake a phallic shaped squash at. I found no joy in this what so ever.

4. Vampire Novels. Yes, those books. I’m in the middle of the second one, New Moon, as I’m writing this. By the time I hit the publish button, (in about 20 minutes) I will have completed the final two books of the series. They are that addicting and that fast of a read. I have been riveted by tales of vampires, werewolves and twinkling skin. But I swear, if I have to hear about what a God-like creature Edward is, I’m going to cut Bella. Actually, this wouldn’t be good for her since she’s human and runs around with vampires. Did I mention they were vegetarian vampires? The ladies out there need no explanation. The men folk, however, are rolling their eyes.

Also, I wonder how many fights these novels have caused between husbands and wives? Every female I know that has read one of these books has basically cut herself off from the rest of her life to finish the series. That includes neglecting the housework, dinner and their spouse. I bet somewhere out there is a He-man Woman Haters Club, only it’s a Vampire Haters Club. Google it. I bet it’s out there.

5. Penchant for Musicals. This isn’t so much ‘funk’ driven as it is the time of year thing for me. It’s usually in the fall that all I want to do is rent Grease, Grease II (only to complain about how inferior the sequel is) and West Side Story. I can’t explain it. I won’t even try. Jeremy wishes I would. Actually, he’s usually hunting in September and October so he misses my fun. For all I know, he might even enjoy the outdoors anymore. He may just keep the ruse up to get out of watching all the singing and the dancing. And oh, the dancing!

The only reason I bring the musicals up is that High School Musical 3 is hitting theaters soon. In my weakened condition, if left alone, I’m afraid I might slip out so see this thing. Last time I checked I wasn’t seven. But why does it keep tempting me? I didn’t even like the first High School Musical. I remember watching it one night and Jeremy walking into the room to see my shocked expression. I was babbling something about having to ‘get in the game’ or something. I eventually snapped out of it., but both Jeremy and I agree that I am now dumber for having seen High School Musical. So then why, oh, why would I even be tempted to see the third installment of that mess. Why do I keep typing the title? High School Musical 3. Stop it!

Someone has to do something to snap me out of this funk of bad taste I’m in. Dane Cook? Lindsay Lohan? High School Musical 3? I did it again.