I don’t have a tattoo. I don’t think I want one either. It’s not that I don’t like them, because I do…sometimes. I appreciate them, especially a quality one. I abhor the cheesy ones.
Now, before you get all uppity up in here, let me say that I don’t mean your tattoos or your friend’s tattoos. Those? Are bitchin’ as hell.
Some of my dear friends have the ink. Take for instance, this guy, Captain Dumbass, famous to tens of people on the internet and always first in my reader. He’s got himself an entire mural going on.
(FYI: The Captain is famous to thousands on the internet.)
This next tattoo belongs to Miss Grace. She is not only one of my favorite bloggers, but she has THEE best tat in the functional/literary category. (I guess the Captain's would be first place in the scary mythical creatures that breathe fire and will most definitely kill you category.)
(In case you can't quite make out exactly what her tattoo is, it's a scene from Where The Wild Things Are.) I imagine if Miss Grace ever gets really tired when she’s putting her son to bed, she could just roll over and let her back do the talkin’. How cool is that?
Even my daughter’s cute little birthmom gave herself a tattoo as sentimental reminder of Reese to carry with her always. (It’s on my facebook photo page if you’d like to see.) To be clear, I don't think she gave the tattoo to herself. I'm pretty sure she paid someone to do it....
I’m just too fickle to get tattooed. I can't make my mind up for more than a minute. I once indulged in a Henna tattoo at a carnival and wished I could change it moments after the seemingly buzzed and definitely sweaty guy began painting it on my arm. Although, it could have been the mixture of the suspect corn dog I had just eaten and the mustard stain in sweaty guy's beard from the corn dog he had just eaten. We will never know.
Last week, Jeremy and I were talking about the flesh ink and we began throwing out ideas for tats that would be fun to see on someone else, someone more secure in their choices. We have assembled a short list of five designs below. Any feedback or suggestions you have are welcomed:
1) A beautiful, but barely legible script font along the back neckline that reads: I have made a huge misteak.
2) A smallish representation of The Simpsons Comic Book Guy with a thought bubble coming from his head with the words: Worst tattoo ever.
3) A lower back tattoo, or “tramp stamp”, if you will, that reads: You’re welcome.
4) Another lower back option. This time it would be a simple, yet noticeable red dot with the words: You are here written next to it.
5) And finally, in bold sans-serif print, anywhere on your body: Love lasts forever, but a tattoo lasts six months longer.
Special thanks to the Captain and Miss Grace for letting me use their backsides in this post!