February 11, 2010

Bad Romance

I tend to write in a memoir style over here. I admire the bloggers out there that dabble in fiction. It takes dedication and imagination. I have one of those things, but not the other.

So, in honor of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d share with you all a rare treat. Today, friends, I am going to publish my first ever short story of fiction. And by short, I mean really short. I can’t stress enough just how short it is.

Disclaimer: When I said “rare treat”, I may have been a little cocky. Those words just went nicely together. They in no way represent what you’re about to read.

Second Disclaimer: I’m sorry for what you’re about to read.

Bad Romance – by Steenky Bee

He looked at me, tears in his eyes and said, “Maybe we should just be friends.”

Shocked, I gathered my fist up to my heart and begged him to reconsider. “Please, oh, please! Don’t take this all away.” I sheepishly tilted my head and looked at him coyly from the side, “Maybe we should be friends with benefits.”

His face broke free from its rigid lines of determination. “What do you mean?” he countered looking confused. I could tell he was becoming increasingly intrigued.

I batted my eyelashes at him and whispered, “I thought we could be friends, but you could pay for my health insurance. With dental. Don’t cheap out on me now, sailor.”

{The end.}

This post was thrown up here today as participation in the ever so lovely Sprite’s Keeper and her Spin Cycle on all things Valentine's Day. If you aren’t part of it, you should be.

40 comments:

Keely said...

Oh, so THAT'S what that phrase means. I always wondered.

Best short story I've read all day!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Now, now, lest you further diminish your talent for fiction, allow me to say:

DG of Diary of a Mad Bathroom says:
"A Triumph! I was trasported. I felt the desperation of the girl to hold on to her what her man had to offer. The weakness of her flesh in his presence and the croupy cough she was probably nursing, in her desperate search for a PPO.Run, don't walk, to get your copy of Steenky Bee's 'Bad Romance'"

Captain Dumbass said...

"I was spellbound from start to finish!"

-CDA, Us & Them Daily

Zip n Tizzy said...

That's what I call a Modern Day Romance.
Very nice, very nice.

Sprite's Keeper said...

"Exciting read without the co-pay! Best bathroom material in a long time!"
-The Keeper KaZoo

Never ever leave us again, Steenky. EVER!

"You're linked!"

robin said...

What, no 401K?
PS- heart you!

Miz Dinah said...

Are you trying to marry a Canadian for free health care? ;)

Tipsy Nikki said...

haha...I really enjoyed that.

Kristina P. said...

Lady Gaga would be proud.

Middle Aged Woman said...

The feel-good read of the....winter?

Kat said...

The dental is the important part. Make sure it is 80% coverage at with a $15 copay.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Perfect! Absolutely perfect!

Mrsbear said...

Those are my kind of benefits.

Becky said...

HA HA HA, I love it! Best explanation of "friends with benefits" ever!

Don't forget 401k and flex accounts!

krista said...

you had me at health insurance.

Irish Gumbo said...

Hard to write a review when your eyes are filled with tears *sniff*

Lori said...

Oh GOOD! I heard my kids had friends with benefits and was worried. This clears it up. Thanks and have a fabulous holiday. :)

GreenJello said...

Kristina took my comment!

shopgirl said...

Seriously,I could use a friend with "benefits" right now... my COBRA is about to run out....

Great short story!!

{The Huffakers} said...

Hope you don't mind me leaving a comment but I just wanted to tell you that you... are... awesome!! That's it. Just plain awesome.

Melanie said...

Are you published?? You are awesome!

VandyJ said...

Great way to smile today. Friends with "Benefits", do you get sick pay and vacations too?

Maureen said...

haha. friends with benefits. nice.

Jess said...

I got a little teary eyed. Just, just...just...so, beautiful. I need to make a dental appointment.

CaJoh said...

I love the twist at the end. I was truly fooled since I had to scroll down after the "Maybe we should be friends with benefits." line. I was thinking this was going to be X rated, but loved the punchline.

Thanks for your clever story,

Khadra said...

those are the best kind of benefits

I would not have said that 10 years ago, but Im old now...the other kind of "benefits" take way too much energy that my old lady body does not have anymore.

Pamela said...

that was effing beautiful.

lizgizzy said...

I love DG at Diar of a Mad Bathroom's comments. Awesome review,of an awesome short story.

Bex said...

Captivating read. I couldn't put it down!

The Stiletto Mom said...

I knew there was more to that friends with benefits thing than I was utilizing back in the 80's....

Michele said...

I was touched by his ability to be intrigued and in awe of her ability to negotiate.

Anonymous said...

Nice fill someone in on and this post helped me alot in my college assignement. Gratefulness you seeking your information.

just making my way said...

Oh man, I have to come after some lame anonymous comment? It's not even written in that crazy language. Have some self respect, Anonymous!!

Your story made me cry, it made me laugh, it made me think. Clearly, you are the author for our generation!

Vodka Mom said...

So I shouldn't worry when Sassy and Bitchy tell me about their "friends with benefits?"


whew.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I thought that was marvelous truly. Where is your pulitzer? :-)

♥ Braja said...

Best short story. Well done Ms Steenky :))

MommyNamedApril said...

those are my kind of benefits!

for a different kind of girl said...

There's a couple hours left in this Valentine's Day, so I must ask - won't you be mine? We can sit around in a weird daze brought on by too many Reece's peanut butter eggs and uncontrolled giggling, or whatever you want. BECAUSE I AM EASY!!

:)

Anonymous said...

It is rather interesting for me to read the article. Thanks for it. I like such themes and anything that is connected to them. I definitely want to read more soon.

Sincerely yours

lissa said...

totally love the short story, it gave me a chuckle, thanks!