Wait. Loss. Black. Ice.

I forget what week, or year even, it is for our HASAY Challenge update. I haven’t participated in an update since April. For those of you who don’t know, HASAY stands for Half as Small as You and it is a fitness support group founded by my dear friend Casey over at Half as Good as You after a bunch of her readers mocked her relentlessly about placing her dog Chloe on the treadmill as a form of outsourcing her own exercise needs.

Don’t judge. I’d do the same thing too, but my dogs aren’t coordinated enough to work the controls on our treadmill and complain about the workout music I've downloaded on my iPod. FYI, canines are not down with the GaGa.

For my fitness regimen, I’ve been braving Utah's bitter cold to run/walk the nature trail near my house. The trail system, in its entirety, is about nine miles long and laced with patches of black ice. I’ve managed to navigate three or four miles of it before I; a) Slip and break a hip, or b) Lie down and writhe around in pretend pain in the hopes that I can convince the middle schoolers on the path that I have slipped and bribe them with the left over Kit Kat candy bards I carry in my fanny pack to give me a ride back home on the handle bar of their bikes.

That's right. I jog with a fanny pack. How else am I supposed to carry my candy?

So I’m back on the exercise kick and I am in it to win it. And by “win it”, I mean an all expense paid vacation to Florida to be with Casey herself. And by “all expense vacation”, I mean whoever wins the HASAY Challenge must foot the bill for their own airfare, lodging and meals to make the “prize vacation” actually happen.

Casey hasn’t exactly agreed to host the winner, and she doesn't even know there is a contest at stake here, but I really, really need there to be some sort of carrot dangled in front of me in order to be successful. Sooooooooo, I have taken it upon myself to carefully hammer out the details for the HASAY Challenge winner below. I call it The Tiger Woods Odyssey Experience.

Casey will pick you up in her brother’s ’93 Toyota Corolla and after you swing by the McDonald’s drive thru, she will chauffeur you and her two small children on the open road for three full hours of driving by the infamous locations of Tiger’s favorite haunts. She claims she knows a guy who knows a guy who kinda-sorta knows where the gate entrance is to one of Tiger’s many Florida mansions. Casey will drive by slowly for photo op here as well as the bars, pro shops, pancake houses, etc. where Tiger spent a good deal of his time. The tour winds down around 4:00 because, according to Casey, that's when her brother's classes are finished at the community college and he needs his car back for his night job.

So, who else is with me?