February 19, 2010

It's Not Unhealthy If I Don't Act Upon My Obsession

So, if you follow me on twitter or have friended me on facebook, you undoubtedly know by now that I have somewhat of an unhealthy obsession with Shaun White. I lovingly call him The Shaun. I tweet and post status updates about him often and sometimes threaten to physically show up where ever he is and braid his hair. Let’s hope this obsession doesn’t turn ugly although some of you have already claimed it has.

Yes, The Shaun is a little unconventional looking, but I sort of dig that. He has a clothing line at Target, he owns his owns a helicopter and half pipe in the Colorado backcountry. But, let me assure you, those are not the only reasons I obsess over him. I respect him as an athlete, I think he's very good-looking...and I really, really want to ride in that helicopter. Don’t think this is a temporary fascination either. Every six months or so, I catch The Shaun on television during the Dew Tour or the X-Games series and I say out loud, “Oh, yeah! I forgot about him. I love him!”

Three years ago at the Summer Dew Tour here in Salt Lake City I was within eyeshot of him and nearly passed out from hyperventilating in excitement. My husband Jeremy was with me and was extremely helpful with the whole situation. In between shouting, “Jen! He’s barely legal. LET IT GO!” he also told me to put my head between my legs and take deep breaths.

In hindsight, me ducking down out with my head buried was a win-win for Jeremy. It not only saved his wife from passing out on a crowded and very littered area (I was wearing white capris, an obvious street hazard. But cute!), but it allowed him to suffer less embarrassment since I was no longer visible to the masses.

Much to my delight, my husband is down with The Shaun too. Earlier this week as Jeremy and I watched the Olympics, we bickered with each other over who The Shaun would rather hang out with; me or him? After 20 minutes of back and forth and throwing out our most compelling arguments, our “little disagreement” was settled when I trumped all of my husband’s foolish reasons by shouting, “I have cleavage. I WIN!”

Jeremy agrees. Boobs win every time.

Anyway, here’s what happened Wednesday evening when I had Photoshop and a little too much time at my disposal.

Look at it people. Don't avert your eyes. Our hair totally matches and you know it.

*******

On a separate note, I have a bit of housekeeping to take care of here. I have limited my blog stalking to two days maximum. On those two days I only give myself 70 minutes to pour through my reader. If I don’t swing by your site as frequently as you post, this is the reason why. I do love you all and appreciate more than you know when you visit me too...especially after my long absence from the internet. Your comments here crack me up and are definitely funnier and more inventive than anything I write about. I must level with you though; they are not as cute as The Shaun. It has to be said.

43 comments:

Kat said...

I am such a bad person. I have only watched like a grand total of maybe 4 hours of Olympic coverage. IN MY DEFENSE, they hardly show the Americans here anyway unless it is at like 3am when I am like SLEEPING and crap.

Middle Aged Woman said...

But....but...but, I have cleavage, too! Don't I win? *whimper* I admit to having a thing for one of the American men's curling team, Jason Smith, who was 2 years old when I got married. Bad, bad, bad.

WebSavvyMom said...

-->I'm totally engrossed in Shaun when he's on tv too. I think it's the red curly hair actually.

www.WebSavvyMom.com

Middle Aged Woman Blogging said...

I love Shaunie!! I need to go to Vancouver and become a Vancougar!!

Casey said...

Ok, they have a huge picture of that dude in the kid's section at Target and Graham LOVE him. Except he thinks it's Laurie Berkner and screams "OH, IT'S A PICTURE OF LAURIE!!!!!" and gets so excited. Dude looks like a lady, sorry.

Hey, my captcha is "cutbacin" like you're cutbacin on your blog time. I like it.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

That's a heck of a good job at photo shop. I thought it was legit. You look like sibs.

Michele said...

After taking the time to photoshop up that picture and posting it, are you still claiming that this obsession hasn't turned ugly? Just verify where the line is. :-) I need to know because I have a minor thing going.

lizgizzy said...

I have to admit I secretly have a crush on Saun White too-his skill in the half pipe could translate to skills in other arenas if you catch my drift (wink, wink). However, I think of him as The Tomato, 'cause tomatoes are more squeezable.

Captain Dumbass said...

Shawn White doesn't do anything for me, sorry. Lindsey Vonn however... hubba hubba.

Kristina P. said...

You ROCK the Photoshop. It looks like an actual picture!

Robin said...

Wait, are you being modest? Are you sure it wasn't HIS head between your legs? (Come on, someone HAD to!)
And that's photoshop? Riiiight! Again, with the humility! Drop the act, sister! :)
(I am all for celebrity husband relationships, if you haven't noticed!)

Sassypants Wifey said...

Me thinks you and The Shaun should have a reality show, I imagine it would be quite funny. I picture a Threes company style show, where Shaun moves in with you and Jeremy as a houseguest. Just imagine the hilarity and debauchery... See, I have half the season playing in my head already.

Peggy said...

Love ya Steenky and so glad your blogging again but this Shaun White obssesion has me a bit baffled...

um, team Edward?

Great photoshop work though...saw it a few times on Twitter and totally thought you hooked it up with Shaun! :)

Logical Libby said...

As long as it doesn't morph into some unhealthy Carrot Top thing, I say run with it...

GreenJello said...

Now that I've gained enough weight, I have cleavage. Does this mean I win, too? Or is the win canceled out because I gained the weight?

Becky said...

Your hair does totally match! Thus, it is destiny.

But what about Even Lysacek? Won't you join me in my obsession with him? He's so tall and dreamy! And that nose! Oh the places it can go!

The Stiletto Mom said...

That is so sweet...The Shaun is cuddling with me here on the sofa, I'll be sure he reads it as well. :)

Keely said...

Say who now? Is there going to be a quiz on this in NY?

Miss Grace said...

Have his little carrot top babies. They will come FLYING out of the birth canal.

Jamie said...

To each his own honey. To each his own. *Sigh* This is like the Johnny Depp is hot thing. I.do.not.understand!

Mc Allen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mc Allen said...

oh yeah, I def see it!!! and I would have tooooootally thought this was a real pic, YOU are good girl. Heeeey, that gives me an idea! We (meaning you) should print and send this to Shaun! I bet you he would toootally love it, especially if you sprayed perfum, kissed it with red lipstick and you also photo shopped you outside his bedroom window!~ guys soooo LOVE that ;) LA

Zip n Tizzy said...

Most impressive are your mad photo shop skills!
And yes your hair matches.

MommyNamedApril said...

that picture is awesome. you are total hair twins.

Irish Gumbo said...

Oh, dear...see, now that's just wrong...he may be all that, but he's no bag of chips. Besides I'm cuter than The Shaun. So there ;)

Jessica said...

I just can't get into the Shaun. I'm obsessed with looking at the Vegas Carrot Top.
What a freaking train wreck!
Is he a man or a woman now? Maybe a manwo?

... and he has his own cleavage, so I'm SOL.

Ms. Salti said...

I just want you to know that after all of your Tweets about The Shaun this afternoon, it's 1:10 AM, I'm lying in my bed, and watching him on Oprah... I hope you're happy. Good thing Oprah reruns after The Ferguson.

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I saw Shaun win and it was awesome! And you do have the same hair. Plus, I'm sure he'd love to be stalked by a cougar!

Dr Zibbs said...

I'm not kidding, that's a great photoshop job.

Also, where does one find that story about getting arrested for making prank phone calls?

jen said...

i know nothing about shaun ... so he's all yours baby. but ... if i were into him ... this developing clevage of mine might just totally win ... ah ... the joys of breastfeeding.
not sure why i brought that up.
ignore.
on a completely unrelated but related because you brought it up first note ... totally ok if you don't visit often to my site ... i rarely post anyways. i'll never notice. but i actually will ... because i love comments.

krista said...

cougar.

Aunt Becky said...

He's pretty adorable. And I'd call him The Shaun, but I'm kind of into David Cook who is my third husband. He just doesn't know it yet.

Sell...Party Of 4 said...

Do you realize since I work nights, and don't usually have time to watch the Olympics...I'm living through you? I love all of your updates, and commentary...oh and pictures too!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I'm with Kat - I'm not watching the Olympics. Does that make me a bad person?

But you totally ROCKED with the PhotoShop'd picture - LOVE it! And yes, cleavage will win every time! ;)

Carolyn...Online said...

Boobs are a good trump card. Wish I had more...

Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt said...

Curly hair wins EVERY time.

apathy lounge said...

I just know that no other snowboarder compares to Shaun. Look at their performances and then catch his. He elevates the sport to another dimension. And his hair IS awesome.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

I'm not so old after all because I actually know who this Shaun guy is! Saw him on 60 Minutes. Wait, err, does that make me old? Or unhip?

gretchen said...

My 6-year old shares your obsession with The Shaun. Though he does not have your desire to be his girlfriend. At least...I...don't...think...he does. Anyway, he simply wants to be Shaun White. And while he doesn't have cleavage, he is pretty damned cute.

Rachel said...

I've completely missed the olympics so far (maybe it is over now? I should check on that), but I love to read about other people watching them. I've heard all kinds of entertaining things. I really wish I had a clue how to photo shop though, and yes, your hair TOTALLY matches. Clearly something was meant to be!

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Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

He's my favorite, but I think I already told you that. I didn't even know about the helicopter! I seriously thought that was a real picture and not photo-shopped. And was a little jealous.

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