Now before you go off thinking this is one of those posts, a post featuring some bland story about my kids at a park, blah, blah, blah...let me tell you two things:
1. No story about Henners or Reese could ever be bland.
2. No man should sport the spandex at a public park without good reason.
Sometimes cousins go to the park, hold hands and do stuff.
And then sometimes cousins just walk away.
Sometimes you're not even two year-old and your hand-holding cousins leave you with all the tall people over age 30. This makes you scared.
But you are only two and you are easily distracted. You spy a chunky, yet handsome toddler boy just across the way. You decide to make eyes at him.The eye thing isn't working. The boy is too busy checking out his socks. You quickly grab a ball and use it as a prop and peek at him ever-so-coyly in an effort to gain his favor.
Okay, so now he's eating his socks. You are understandably grossed out, but remain undeterred in your quest to be noticed by him. Grandma swoops in and you use her as a "wing man" in order advance your position with the round mound foot fetish-having boy.Okaaaaay. Granny is clearly not the babe magnet you were hoping for. Your off to try something else. You spy Aunt Karly, a single-ready-to-mingle twenty-something who's got the skills to seal the deal with the dudes. Surely she can throw you some pointers...
...as you use yours to dig. So. Busted.
My friends, the sock-eater and the nose-picker never made contact. Frankly, this strange dance was the highlight of my day at the park with family.