June 9, 2009

Lessons in Love and Spandex

Hold on tight. The Steenkster is taking you back old-school for a minute. For those of you that have known me for a while, you recall that I used to put up posts with pictures of the kiddos and stories of our adventures as a family. Well, this is one of those posts.

Now before you go off thinking this is one of those posts, a post featuring some bland story about my kids at a park, blah, blah, blah...let me tell you two things:

1. No story about Henners or Reese could ever be bland.
2. No man should sport the spandex at a public park without good reason.

Sometimes cousins go to the park, hold hands and do stuff.





And then sometimes cousins just walk away.


Sometimes you're not even two year-old and your hand-holding cousins leave you with all the tall people over age 30. This makes you scared.


But you are only two and you are easily distracted. You spy a chunky, yet handsome toddler boy just across the way. You decide to make eyes at him.

The eye thing isn't working. The boy is too busy checking out his socks. You quickly grab a ball and use it as a prop and peek at him ever-so-coyly in an effort to gain his favor.

Okay, so now he's eating his socks. You are understandably grossed out, but remain undeterred in your quest to be noticed by him. Grandma swoops in and you use her as a "wing man" in order advance your position with the round mound foot fetish-having boy.

Okaaaaay. Granny is clearly not the babe magnet you were hoping for. Your off to try something else. You spy Aunt Karly, a single-ready-to-mingle twenty-something who's got the skills to seal the deal with the dudes. Surely she can throw you some pointers...

...as you use yours to dig. So. Busted.

My friends, the sock-eater and the nose-picker never made contact. Frankly, this strange dance was the highlight of my day at the park with family.

Unless you count this guy...

...which I totally do.

44 comments:

Dana's Brain said...

HA! I love that story. Quite a picturesque ending as well.

Maggie had that pink ball. She loves it.

Melanie D said...

yikes....spandex is a privilege not a right......In fact spandex should just be banned!!

Dana's Brain said...

Hot Damn! I was first!

That should say Maggie HAS that ball. *sigh*

Momma Trish said...

Oh, I count that guy too.

Love the pics of the kiddos! :)

Zip n Tizzy said...

It's important she learn now that no matter how cute you are, guys may be totally oblivious to your advances while picking their toes.

Don't get us started about spandex in this house. It's on the top of our taboo list.

Miss Grace said...

I like how you can see his belly button through his shirt.

Nyxmyst said...

My eyes are bleeding now and I totally blame you :P

ChurchPunkMom said...

ah, toddler romance.. so sweet.

unlike... that guy. ew.

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Well, at least he's doing his beer proud with that belly.

How do guys do that? Stay thin and trim everywhere but the belly?

Freaks.

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

Are you sure that's a guy? He's at least a B cup.

Sassypants Wifey said...

Hmmm, perhaps he wanted to be EXXXXTRA sure none of his jiggly or dangly pieces got too near that there grill? No, just an afinity for spandex, well, someone has to buy it I suppose...

Chris Wood said...

2 year old cousins and spandex? Very very unusual post ...

Middle Aged Woman said...

My eyes! My eyes! I need a spork, quickly.

Reesie is getting awful big!

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) said...

I count the dude with the belly too.....should we know him?

Cute story....boys can be so clueless, huh?

Cameron said...

Nothing says 'taken ladies, leave me be' like a wife beater and nut-huggers ;)

Becky said...

Oh goodness. I was hoping maybe that guy had just finished a triathlon, but the wife beater, the beer, and the grill say no.

Sprite's Keeper said...

I'm sorry, pregnant and holding a beer? He is so busted.

Keely said...

Should you mix spandex and bbq grills?

for a different kind of girl said...

First I was all "Swoon!! Henners' grin!!"

And then I got to the money shot at the end! Moobs, wife beater shirt, what may or may not be tucking, and wirey gorrila hair arms all the way to the shoulders and beyond?! Be still mah heart! This? This is why cameras were invented!

Bex said...

this was the best post i've read all day! with the exception of the spandex guy. i wish my kids hadn't been peering over my shoulders at the screen. i thought it was cute, "look at the cute little girl!" until we came upon midnight in the garden of barbeque and swing sets.

Laufa said...

Ew I think that guys pants are worse than the ex-gym teacher from the 70's shorts.

GreenJello said...

Which is worse? Eating your socks or wearing spandex?

Kingsmom said...

Nose picker and Toe picker sounds like a match made in heaven.

The spandex on the other hand...

Amo said...

That big hunka man love is HOTT (with an extra T).

Hubba hubba...

Ms. Salti said...

Love it... were you guys at Liberty Park?

blissfully caffeinated said...

Hold the phone. Are those spandex pants paired with a white, wife beater tank top? Oh my sweet lord, no. Just no.

I love that Henners has a signature grin. Every picture he's got that adorable grin and those mischievous eyes. So freaking cute. And Reese? Gorgeous. I love her little hair style.

Also, I have missed you Spider Monkey. I was thinking about hopping on a Greyhound to Utah to search for you. So consider yourself lucky.

Lisa said...

Beer bellies and spandex. Ummmm... NO!

Welcome back! I hope we'll be seeing MORE of you........

Captain Dumbass said...

Is that Sasquatch? That's one serious pelt he's sporting on the arms. What if Jeremy decided he HAD to wear that? Would you let him? Would you? WOULD YOU?

Mrs B said...

I have been lurking on your blog for a while, but those pants, no, eyeball incinerating threads of disgustigness, forced me to play.

Eww..gross, thanks for that. I think I threw-up a little in my mouth.

Jenni said...

AHHH! MY EYES! MY EYES! AHHH!

Lizgizzy said...

Agh the wife beater, and a gut, run away!

Laura - Are We Nearly There Yet Mummy? said...

Wow ... the moobs and the beer gut really set off the tight spandex

The Stiletto Mom said...

ADORABLE. What a cute story! And she is totally going to get even with you in your old age for that nose picker picture!

Maggie May said...

Adorable. I want to be out in the sun.

Kristina P. said...

I am so glad you're coming! I might even let you put on the Snuggie. If you're lucky.

Jenni Jiggety said...

There are entirely too many fleshy bumps visible under those clothes...

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

That adorable little girl won't need a ball to hide behind for much longer. Just hope the spandex grill man doesn't spy her and move in!

Wicked Step Mom said...

Gah!! Scared!!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I definitely count that guy too... ;)

Loved the post - and the pictures! You ROCK! ;)

Susan said...

That was such a great story... and that spandex man??? Please tell me that's not your hubby??? (smile)

Tuesday Girl said...

So very gross.

the Mayor said...

Treasure that picture taken from behind the 3 cousins walking. Looking back over 28 years of pictures of my own, those are my all time favorite.

Mrsbear said...

The kids are adorable. And the stretchy pants beat the banana hammock by a mile.

DeeMarie said...

I can't believe he didn't notice Reese... how could you not notice Reese?!!?!?!