October 8, 2008

Yeah, We Were THAT Bored.

This weekend, Jeremy and I tried to be good parents. We promised our son Henry a trip to the zoo. He was so excited to see the elephants, the snakes and his favorite, the tigers. But when Saturday morning rolled around, and Henry came waddling out of his bedroom, still wiping the sleep out of his eyes, we pounced on him and said, "Gotcha, sucker!" We then proceeded to point at him and laugh, because we totally weren't taking him to the zoo. He began to cry. Jeremy and I then went in for the kill. We just danced in a circle around him chanting, "You're not going to the zoo! You're not going to the zoo!"

Okay, that really didn't happen. But in Henry's mind that's exactly how it went down. In reality, it was pouring rain outside and did so the entire weekend. I desperately tried to explain to our son that we couldn't go to the zoo with the cold and wet weather we were having. My hair just wouldn't hold up. It would balloon out bigger than Diana Ross' hair. I even googled a picture of the original diva and showed him exactly what Mommy's hair would do if there was even a scant trace of humidity in the air. The concept of my need to keep my hair frizz-free was completely lost on Henry. Some people can be so self involved.

Then Jeremy's intervened with a series of complex graphs demonstrating the high and low pressures in the weather system. He went on to explain precisely how precipitation is formed and wrapped it up with a five-day forecast. While, we certainly were appreciative of his enthusiasm for meteorology, Jeremy mistook our dumbfounded expressions as signs of encouragement (or interest) and began explaining his long-held belief that the US government controls the world's weather. My good friend Margie knows better.

Luckily, Henry gathered his wits and told Jeremy to "Stop being mean at me." I agreed. Stop being mean at us. Stop using science as a weapon. Of boredom.

So, like any other mother who thinks quick on her feet, I had a flash of genius. Why don't we participate in a fun, family activity together? Something entertaining, yet educational. Something where my three year old would be handling sharp scissors and a hot iron. (I didn't say it would be safe.)

So I grabbed all the colorful T-shirts I could find around the house and ran to the craft store for for a few supplies to make some customized iron-on shirts. I'd like to paint a picture that it was one of those activities that you can look back on with fondness, but I just can't lie too you like that.

What I can do, is tell you that Henry screamed at me a few times that I was a mean mom for not letting him cut out letters for his shirt with a sharp pair of scissors. He also threw that same shirt at me because I wouldn't let him play with a hot iron. Reese tried to eat most of the letters from off the floor and Jeremy worked up a sweat keeping both kids away from me so I could finish this fun family activity down in the basement. All by myself.

So below, I give you the results of our family togetherness on a rainy Saturday afternoon. I threatened the family that they had to look happy in these pictures to somehow convince the world that these shirts were made together with our sweat, tears and a little bit of love. Mostly sweat and tears though.

Jeremy opts for the ever classic ringer tee for his first creation.


This is Henry's nickname. I'm not sure why, but he likes it.


"Reesafee" is what we call our littlest one.


Jeremy claims I'm his trophy wife, only he didn't exactly come in first place. Jen is what you get for coming in fifth.


I lost fourth place to that hussy Susie down the street. Dang her and her superior spelling skills.

We lovingly call Jeremy this. Shh. He doesn't know it's not exactly a compliment.


Henry can often be heard saying this around the house. Let me clarify, Henry can often be heard SCREAMING this around the house.


This is what Henry calls his little sister.


This is Jeremy doing long division in his head.


No explanation is really necessary.



65 comments:

Rhea said...

haha Those are awesome shirts! You guys are hilarious.

DeeMarie said...

LOVE IT!!! That's such a great fun, family activity for you to do in the basement, all by yourself. ;) I would adore a home-made shirt by Jenbo... maybe like a contest or something??? Just sayin'.

Cape Cod Gal said...

That is awesome! Very creative! I second deemarie! I smell a contest!

DeeMarie said...

Check out my gadget on my page again... especially for you!!!!!

Colepack said...

that is a riot and I plan on joining the not-yet-agreed-upon contest and will be making some shirts soon. LOVE IT!

Casey said...

I'm totally sending my kids to your house for craft time. We don't even color around here since every attempt turned into crayon-all-you-can-eat fests. Jeremy looks like such a dudebag. I'm not sure what I mean by that but he does.
Your kids are super duper cute btw!

Ron said...

"Dudebag!" definitely my favorite followed by Trophy Wife. You guys seen like a hysterically funny bunch.

Ok, in the spirit of band names. My wife is such a music snob, unless they are just the right balance of obscure and cult favorite then forget it. So she has this T-shirt that says, "I like bands that haven't gotten together yet" I'm going to have to tell her about the Luncbox and Amish Pimp (I won't tell her they're boy bands though)

JaxPop said...

Sharp Objects? Hot Irons? What's the problem with that? Coupla Bud Lites in the sippy cups - they wouldn't feel a thing. Did you have to use spell-check during the wardrobe enhancement project? Geez - where the heck did that come from.... Funny post.

Captain Dumbass said...

What!? I just made the kids breakfast and I'm already 9th. Post wasn't even up when I started. Flip. I have to walk to school now. But I'll be back! Muah ha ha haaaa!

Mama Dawg said...

Yours are by far the most AWESOME!

Sammanthia said...

I have GOT to make me some of them t-shirts! I'm going iron on the words "Boobylicious" right across my chest. My husband will totally dig it.;)

Khadra said...

We dont have a basement, but every fun family project here ends in everyone crying. FUN! WEEEEEEEE!!!\

The shirts are great, and your kids are adorable!

PS, thanks for the support yesterday :)

Heinous said...

Great shirts! I'm evidently the meaner of the two parents in my household.

Distraction is a fine art that not everyone appreciates. Well done.

Tuesday Girl said...

good god I wish you were my neighbor!

ali said...

HAHAHA! Love those shirts! My 4 year old thinks I'm being mean to him for not letting him go trick-or-treating TODAY!

Oh, the govt does control the weather. I used to live on an air force base. I know things.

gingela5 said...

Those are great shirts! Remind me of Vintage Vantage shirts. I think when I have kids I'm going to come to your blog for great crafting ideas! Thanks!

goodfather said...

HAHAHAHA! I snorted coffee out my nose at the trophy wife shirt. Nice! I'm gonna totally steal this as a family activity for the next time it rains. Which is pretty much every day where I live :D.

anymommy said...

I wanna come hang out at your house!

Andrea said...

OMG I sooooooo want a trophy wife shirt like that. I think you SHOULD do a contest but pick MEEEEE as the winner!

Everytime I come to your blog I am LOL'ing at every post and then all my cubie neighbors here at the office wanna know WTH I'm laughing at... You are so funny and we need to become BFF's! Either that or I will stalk you from afar lol! (are you adequately freaked out by me yet? :))

P.S. Thanks for stopping by my blog and I would loooove for you to become my 4th reader. Yer awesome!

Cameron said...

Awesome post...great stuff. And I used to frickin love Taco Tuesday at our local Pepe Taco, before it shut down.

jen said...

hilarious.
wanna hear something funny? (or not)
i'm jen...obviously.
and my husband is jeremy...and he loves weather!
we LOVE the zoo...
but my hair is absolutely straight and we have never made shirts with the girly-girls. yet.

Captain Dumbass said...

I like deemarie's idea of Jenbo tshirt contest. I would wear mine even if it were hot pink with "that's what she said!" on it.

First paragraph? That alone is why I love you. We don't have a basement to play in because we're below sea level and it would fill up with water. Then again, we could fill it with fish and have a giant sized aquarium

Have a contest Dudebag. I want a shirt that says "trophy husband."

ciara said...

omgosh i'm totally lmao @ dudebag. i.can't.help.it.

Jenni said...

how much to I love Henry 's Sancho face? It's freakin hilarious. He's such a little ham. Where on earth does he get it from?

Jamie said...

great family activity - love the shirts and you have inspired me - I am going to have to make some shirts of my own (probably won't be able to wear them out in public but I will have fun making them)

The Stiletto Mom said...

I'm baaack!!!! And all I need to know, right this very minute...is where the hell is my offical Steenky Bee tee???

Also, please tell Jeremy I'm totally going to study up on science so that I too can use it as a weapon of boredom against my unruly family.

Mwah! Missed my Steenky Bee!!!!

blissfullycaffeinated said...

Son of a...I'm 25th. How did that happen!?

Oh my god, between you and your Diana Ross explanation and Jeremy and his weather routine I have peed my pants.

Then the craft portion of the post made me fall to the ground with stomach cramping laughter. Because I KNOW. I have been there. Except our crafts never turn out that great.

Speaking of which, I will buy a "That's what she said" shirt from you.

My love for you grows stronger every day. Please set up a cafepress store for your creations.

blissfullycaffeinated said...

Dammit! 27th. Freaking Stiletto Mom cut in front of me.

Carolyn...Online said...

I just love that the E is backwards.

Trish said...

That's great! I love the trophy wife shirt.

As for Henry's fits, I'm glad to know that our 3-year old is perfectly normal. I guess they must all do that.

for a different kind of girl said...

Dear heaven, I am going to spend a portion of this afternoon doing a rain dance. Then I am going to run to Walmart, grab glitter, glue, markers, more letters and more shirts and we are going to kick out the jams!

Those are awesome!

HeatherPride said...

Never believe you are fifth place, sister! Oh no, you are first place all the way!!

The last one is a classic. My favorite, right next to Sancho.

You could totally start your own line. No kiddin. Time to quit your day job.

Elle Charlie said...

Oh my God, this is the funniest post I have read in ages! I love the t-shirts. What a cute idea!

I have also had brilliant project ideas with my nieces that ended in everyone crying when things took a turn for the badness.

tishsweitzer said...

Hello, there, Jen. You're such a good, funny writer that bet you and your fun-loving friends could really give me some great lines (if you are willing to have them show up in my book-in-progress and articles about boredom) that finish the line: "You know you are bored when..."

See ThePowerOfBoredom.com this week's post titled You Know You Are Bored When.." and www.boredomBOREDOMboredom.com

I hope to see you there!
Letitia

Krystal said...

LOL!!!! Oh this is too cute!

Sprite's Keeper said...

So, you're the Trophy wife! My shirt says "Consolation Prize". And it's extra small. Bastards better do a recount.
Totally loving the pix and wannna ogligatory chomp of Reese's cheekses. Mwa!

Sprite's Keeper said...

That was supposed to be obligatory. I'm blaming it on Spellcheck. Don't judge!

Kat said...

I NEED the That's What She Said t-shirt. Need it I tell you!!!

Ilina said...

You should put these on Etsy. You kill me. Come do crafts at my house any day.

DeeMarie said...

Just stopping by to stalk again. And ask when you're having the contest. Because the more I think about it, I NEED a Jenbo original, and since it was my idea, I totally expect to win. :)

beth said...

Hey Jen, I think "Sancho" is totally flirting with me, winking and all!

Maggie May said...

awesome!!! so much fun, i want to do this with my family.

Krystal said...

okay, i had to come back and look at the pctures again. It seems like you have a flourishing business idea there!! Oh, and I forgot to tell you - I LOVE YOUR HAIR!!! Truly I do - the curls are awesome!

sherendipity said...

Please adopt me. I have so much adoration for you.
;)

Vodka Mom said...

those are so goddam great!!! I want to do that at our next happy hour. Do I need to know how to use an iron?

Seriously Mama said...

You my dear are a rock star! I have a three year old who is obsessed with scissors and finally gave in a few days ago and told him if he wants to cut his fingers off, it's his body and he can do with it what he likes. Never happened but I was waiting. He too yells at his little sister about being too loud.

I would totally be your neighbor too and I promise I would won't do any peeking in the windows after dark. Promise.

jennster said...

lmfao- you are freaks! but funny freaks! like, HAH AHAHAHHA look at their shirts kind of freaks. but i'd still be seen with you in public and stuff. :)

bejewell said...

Selfish, selfish, selfish. Doesn't Sancho realize that nothing good can come from Diana Ross hair?

Lola said...

Now, that's family fun, even if you did all the work! I made the big mistake of doing tye-dye shirts with my son and his cousin on a rainy day.

They got bored, so I ended up doing all the work, and let's just say that I had to use gasoline to get the dye off of my hands because the cheap rubber gloves that came with the kit did not protect my hands. GASOLINE!!!

Elle Charlie said...

I love this post so much I just brought Hubs over to read it. He liked it a lot - now he swears he's going to say "Stop being mean at me" when he thinks I'm misbehaving :)

Elle Charlie said...

Btw, thanks for adding me to your blogroll!

Don Mills Diva said...

Who needs the zoo?

Those shirts are awesome!

Becky said...

Okay, we are doing this ASAP. Who needs the frikkin' zoo when this much family fun can be had?

The Stiletto Mom said...

Hi, me again. Do you have my official Steenky Bee shirt ready? No? COME ON. Jeez.
PS...I'm totally checking in before the sun comes up so I can be first, it's a challenge now...who knew my friend was a super star???

Captain Dumbass said...

Good night, Mary Ellen...

Tricia said...

I wonder if completing projects alone in the basement is supposed to be considered "me time" for moms.

The shirts are adorable, and you've added a new word to my repertoire. "Dudebag" has just replaced "craptacular" on my list of favorite words.

Bee said...

Wow! The only craft I have ever made is a *congrats on your first dildo card* and that was just cutting out a page from a magazine and then making a d*ldo out of spongey reindeer legs.

The Tees are awesome!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

I am *SO* impressed. And if you bought extra t-shirts and extra letters and extra glitter, all for the sake of the blog, well, I'm even more impressed.

--Ellie

Chris Wood said...

Dudebag? I like it!

That was a brilliant first paragraph, btw.

anna said...

I have to say I love the "yeah I solve problems" post.

JuleeSLC said...

The Henners can wink!

Tina said...

What a great way to spend the day! Looks like everyone had a terrific time...Your kids are dollfaces.

HarryJack's Mom said...

THANK YOU (yeah, I said it LOUD!) I needed to laugh and now I really want to be adopted...oops, someone else already asked. I love those sweet faces, and need to catch up on the other posts. You are SO very creative and funny - how high can Henry count?!

Ringleader said...

How is it possible that I haven't commented yet??? I've re-read this like 3 times because, you know, I like spitting Diet Coke out of my nose... the tingle tells me it's working!

Zoo schmoo- scissors and a hot iron are CLEARLY more fun!

chasingjoy said...

OMG! I am laughing so hard!!!! I loved the brief imagery of dancing and chanting about the zoo. Hilarious!