October 29, 2008

I Suck. Big Time.

So, yeah. I suck. There's no excuse for the level of sucking that I have reached. The sad part is, I didn't even try. How good at sucking am I that I didn't even try to suck and I sucked anyway? I sort of always knew I sucked. I mean, when the kids down the street yell "You suck!" at you every time you leave your house, it's pretty clear the level of suckiness that you've reached.

A few weeks ago, a lovely bloggy friend of mine emailed me to tell me that I had misspelled her name on my blogroll. I graciously accepted the criticism by shooting her back an email that read,
"Look, hussie: You better check yourself before you wreck yourself. Read my FAQ "About the Stank" link on my page. I practically scream at you that I misspell every thing! Just to spite you, I'm totally not changing it."

This bloggy "friend" then had the nerve to block me from sending her any follow up emails and even deletes all my nasty comments on her site. Some people are just so touchy.

Okay, so I was a little nicer than that.

Then I noticed that I had one of my favorite blogs listed twice in my blogroll and one of those links was listed incorrectly. So I went all willy-nilly and started revamping my blogroll and I think I got a titch too liberal with the delete button. I inadvertently removed a few blogs that I had been following because my fingers, thick with bacon grease, slipped and removed a few links just above and below my actual edits.

Then, I got with the program that same day and added a reader to my bloggy routine. I took my entire blogroll and dumped it into my reader. Because of my earlier blogroll gaffe, some of my favorite bloggers were now missing from my reader. Then, I found new blogs that I couldn't live without and added them to my reader, but haven't added them to my blogroll. I'm a mess!

So today, friends, I come to you asking for three things; 1) Help, 2) Forgiveness, and 2) Money. (I'm sort of kidding about the third thing. I just thought I'd throw it out there.)

Please forgive me for being a lazy blogger. Also, please help me mend my ways. Would you mind checking my blogroll on the left of this here page to make sure you are listed correctly? Also, if you're not listed, please give me a shout-out and let it be known that you would like to be added.

If you don't want to leave your comment in my comments section, email me at jenboglass@yahoo.com

Also, because I suck so much, I have created and presented myself with the following award. Feel free to snag it and throw it up when you're feeling like a lazy blogger. Although, if you really are a lazy blogger, I doubt you'll even muster up enough energy to copy and paste it to your site.

75 comments:

Cameron said...

That's what she said....come on!!! First!!

Sprite's Keeper said...

We're good, babe! And Cameron? Dude! You stole my entire comment! I updated right bfore I published and there you were.... Gr.
The end.... Or is it????

Laufa and Roy said...

I don't know if I am important enough to be in your blogroll.
Coming from an odd named person, maybe she was really upset and took it out on you - some days I get called 6 or 7 different names other than my own and I am not even in customer service.

Miss Grace said...

I'm not there, but also not sure if I ever was, which makes me feel like maybe I'm a jackass for saying I'm not there? It's hard to know. TOO MUCH PRESSURE!!!!

blissfullycaffeinated said...

5th!!! Woo hoo! Now I'll chack that blogroll and snag that awesome belly award.

blissfullycaffeinated said...

I'm actually going to check your blogroll, not chack it. So don't worry.

ChurchPunkMom said...

well.. i'll forgive you i guess. you didn't delete me though, you didn't even have me in there yet (hm.. punishable by death?).

so add me, beyotch. how am i supposed to be your life coach if you don't even have me blogrolled, grasshoppah??

Mama Dawg said...

How did you find that picture of my belly?

Oh, wait, it has too much hair. Not me!

blissfullycaffeinated said...

Also, you do NOT suck. And I want to know who was giving you such a bad time. Me and Stiletto Mom and Heinous have kind of formed an internet street gang and we'll be happy to take someone down for you.

Let me know.

Kiss, kiss and I'll get out of your comments now.

Jenni said...

I think if I weren't listed on your blogroll you would feel empty. And probably go back to coveting men with tails. And I don't mean super awesome Cory Haim 80s hair rat-tails, because we ALL covet those.

Krystal said...

you so totally do not suck! you know that you are a wench but suck? nope, not you!!

Anyways, you need to get up and start exercising!! You just need to forget the little people - you are too big for it! LOL I'm so totally joking!!!

I heart you for being so honest and needy.

Jennifer said...

I hate it when I blog w/ bacon-greasy fingers! It always ends in disaster!

Sal said...

I don't think you suck, besides, wouldn't it be far worse if you were really trying to suck and didn't? I mean, seriously, that would be the appitomie of sucking, to suck at sucking, geez.

I never was on your blogroll, but I guess this means that I need to go update mine too. I posted a while back about cleaning up the 150+ blogs that I had in my reader, a week later I had close to 200, oh well, such is life.

Cameron said...

Sprite's Keeper - you gotta wake up pretty early, you know, like 5:45am to beat me.

Had you not been multi-commenting over @ Captain Dumbass, you may have just beat me here. So, in your face, yeah!!!

Casey said...

I love the award. It's very topical considering we had an entire conversation last night about sucking. Not quite the same but still. What's this about bacon grease? I hope you were making it for the kids and not EATING IT. You skan. Google reader changed my life but now I'm drowning in unread posts. It's an evil double edged reader sword. Go run. Stop eating crap.

Heinous said...

Mine's good...don't care about anyone else's. Okay, I do a little. But the longer they stay off your list, the more likely I am to comment on their blogs first.

What's my motivation here?

PS The Suck Society called and said you're not on their roster, so you don't suck. Amateur.

Carolyn...Online said...

I'm glad I'm not the only lazy blogger. I'm not copy clipping that big belly though. *shudder* it reminds me of my goodfornothing dad.

Sherendipity said...

My stomach's growling.
I have a headache.
My kitchen's dirty and I just swept and found enough fur to make another animal. And the dust. Don't get me started on the dust.
Shopping list:
Milk
Bread
Eggs
KY warming lotion

Oh shit, I thought I was on my diary site. Sorry about that.

Khadra said...

Your award is too gross to copy!
You SO dont suck. Although Im pretty sure I do.

Was I on your list before? I didnt even look.

Khadra said...

ok so Im not on your list.
you dont love me.

sigh.

abdpbt said...

Umm, yeah, the problem with your plan is that now I had to click through on my reader to post this comment, and to check the blogroll, and I am like THE LAZIEST BLOGGER in the world, so jeez.

But yeah, everything looks good. And thanks for making me look at that guy's gut. I think I'll stay on my diet today.

for a different kind of girl said...

Yeah! I'm over on the blogroll! And I totally clicked over to see if the link worked, and then I got distracted reading and was all "Ha, ha, ha! This girl is hilarious!"

But I came back. Because I love you, and I must make you mine.

Also, it's good to see my old collge boyfriend, the one who was always so lazy back then, really stepped up his game for you and posed for that award. Lazy, my patooty!

Jamie said...

Oh my heck ( that is a Utah saying, right? Cause I am trying to get it right for when I come stalk, er um, I mean visit you)

Any, oh my heck, I am on the list and I love that I am. I was going to tell that you do actually suck but since I am on the list, I won't. I will tell you that you are one bad ass bloggin momma.

Love,
(the future) Mrs. Kirk Herbstreit
AKA Jamie from Gimmethejuice

Chris Wood said...

No worries, you carry on sucking at spelling.

Pamela said...

WOOHOO!!!! TWENTYSOMETHING!!!!

And I will really need to not ever see that fat, hairy belly of yours ever again or we will no longer be cool.

Wendy said...

Hey I'm on there! I was all set and prepared to ask you to put me on, and look, I don't even have to grovel! But... Could you change the link just a little? I bought my domain, so can you take out the "blogspot" part of it? Cuz I look a lot cooler that way. lol The rest is the same though.

I have to redo my blogroll too. I lost it when I switched a couple of weeks ago. But I too have been lazy. No way I'm putting that hairy potbelly on my blog though. I'm way too lazy today. ;)

Colepack said...

I am on there!!! I hate it when I do things like that. Mine is usually creating a large documment and then saying "no" to that stupid "DO you want to save?" question. That gets me every few months. Next time it happnes, I am pulling your fat dude.

Momma Trish said...

I love the fact that "forgiveness" and "money" are both listed as #2. 'Cause they're equally important, right? Yup!

Also, I totally want in on the blissfullycaffeinated, Stiletto Mom, Heinous street gang. How do I join?

Cape Cod Gal said...

Doll, you're awesome! You and I are good! Perfect in fact! Love ya lots and thanks for the linky love!

jen said...

oh my god...i need bleach for my eyes. please don't tell me that's someone you know. hasay him if it is.
ok...i'm there...on "the roll"
but i don't like capitals. can you tell...??
so it kinda bugs me when people write Coconut Belly. like i'm all hoity-toity or somethin.
i prefer coconutbelly.
but you are probably gonna bitch slap me for that...so never mind.

LiteralDan said...

I'm listed right in your blogroll, so you can cross that off your list. I completely understand what you're going through-- I have all kinds of gaps in my blogroll/Following/Reader lists, and while I feel terrible, I'm also so much lazier than you that I would never, ever make an award declaring it.

And as you so aptly suggested, I will probably never get around to pasting this anywhere-- I have a backlog as long as your arm as it is!

So, in summation, I totally, totally win.

HeatherPride said...

See what all that bacon has been doing to your brain?? Girl, put down the pig!

Cat said...

I love that you suck. If you cease to suck, the suckiness will cease and I'll be forced to suck by ceasing to suck your blog. Wait...huh?

Mc Allen said...

yep, I is there... And I serioualy want to know how you got my hubby's hot bod on your new award thst you SO LOVENGLY lavished upon yourself without any reguard for our feelings.... Just askin.
L A

goodfather said...

Ha ha! I love your award! Hah! And, um, I emailed you a big wad of cash. Can I be on your blog roll? You can misspell my name any way you want. :D

DeeMarie said...

Listen, Hooker. If I wasn't on your blogroll, I'd have stalked you religiously until I was added back, and tweeted, and superpoked, and blown up your facebook wall, and, well, you get it right? And you SOOOOO DON'T SUCK!! Shopgirl and I were talking at lunch about how much you actually rock. So there! LOVES!

PAPATV said...

Oh Oh, I've been unhighlighted. Now "I" suck bigtime.
That's it, I'm shutting down my site.
:)

Ms. PH said...

Thank goodness . . . I am back on the blogroll. Now I can sleep better at night. And you don't suck at all. In fact, I thought I had done something truly suck-tacular to get kicked off the blogroll.

Now . . . May I stalk you?

ChurchPunkMom said...

i seez me on yurz blog... i are happee.

Sammanthia said...

I'm so lazy I'm snagging your badgey thingamabobber AND your blogroll.

Rebekah said...

I want to be a steenkroll member, even though I wasn't before.
Here, so you don't even have to type it (when I'm not lazy, I go overboard to make up for the other times): http://wafolhaus.blogspot.com

TattooedMinivanMom said...

Well, you added tattooed but you spelled it wrong. There's 2 Ts in tattooed stewpit. Actually 3 but hopefully your smart enough to know I mean in the middle. But your probably not, so I specified. Don't mind me, I'm just a bitter old whore.

I just set up a twatter account. I feel pretty stewpit myself trying to finger out how it works.

So long SUCKer!

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Thank you for adding me to your blogroll. Except damn, now I need to update mine too cuz it's hopelessly outdated and ... I'm a lazy ass blogger. Too lazy to snag the lazy badge, which by the way - made me laugh out loud. No, truly - I now feel pressured. I WILL update my blogroll within the week, I will, I will, I will!

Captain Dumbass said...

You do not suck, my friend, and anyone who says so can count on a snowshoe to the ass. A frozen snowshoe.

I don't care if I'm even in your blogroll or not, but I would like to see a picture of myself in your banner. That would really tell me that you care. If you feel this is too much I'll totally understand (BITCH!).

gingela5 said...

Thank goodness I'm still there. And like I've said before I'm #44 so you've more than likely stopped reading comments at this point. I love the button...

beth said...

If your level of suckiness is represented by the big fat belly, then I would be the gray fuzzy matter that lives in the depths of the belly button. I am using blogrolling.com and have entered all the blogs I read to them and here I sit..stil waiting for the list to magically appear! I have got to figure out how to do this on my own, for God's sake.

Robin said...

Oh gawd! FREAKING hee-lay-ree-us. The dude with the fatty-hairy stomach is to DAH for! I want him sooooo bad. Yuuuum!!! :)
Hey, I'd love it if you added me to your blogroll... You seriously suck, I mean, rock. Already added you to my follow list.
:) Robin
cinnamon & honey
http://cinnamonandhoney.blogspot.com

Michele said...

I'm sort of new to the gang so I'm not surprised that I'm not on your blogroll. I'd love to be included.

P.S. It's not a matter of sucking. It's more of a blogroll malfunction.

Heather said...

Ahhh YOU ROCK! Thank you for adding me to your blogroll. Now I have 2 people that read me! And hey, I like hairy men!

Mike said...

I love the visual of you driving down the street and the kids yelling out that you suck. I get the same comments at my house as well. Maybe we live close by?

Debbie said...

I'm still someone you stalk. I'd tell you that makes me happy, but I'm afraid it would go to your head.

And 51 is the ONLY comment to aim for ya'll!

Tuesday Girl said...

can i put it on my blog everyday?!

Tiffany T said...

This is your entry into the Sucking Award Ceremony?! Wow, finally an award I can WIN at!! I will definitely copy that award picture and use it frequently for all the sucking I do on a daily basis. And for the record, I think that whatever sucking-thing happened due to a computer malfunction isn't your fault but the fault of all the mice that are inside running to keep the computer on. Just my $0.02.

Tracy Lynn said...

Dude, that is just...awesome.

Vodka Mom said...

oh jesus, I LOVE that you suck. guess what? I suck, too! I know I've been tagged recently, and am so goddam busy I can't even be a good bloggy friend. I can't believe ANYONE would block you (christ, it wasn't ME was it?) and if they did I'm sure it was by ACCIDENT.

p.s. you're too cool to suck. love the badge.

Owens Family Adventures said...

I looked through your blogroll and horror of horrors I noticed that I was not on there. I am sure that you must have me on a special page of those who you worship so much that you don't want to share with the world at large.
My name ringing any bells?? Quilter...mom....cleaner upper of all dog poop?? Yep! Me!!
giggle. Totally tongue in cheek. :) Love your blog, you don't suck at all. :)
dawn

Jenni Jiggety said...

I suck too...my reader has some people twice. Why? Why? Why does my reader hate me, Jen?

The Stiletto Mom said...

That's right...Jen, Heinous and I are a street gang. It goes down like this: Jen says something smart ass to them, Heinous comes in after her and says something nice to get their confidence back up and then I take 'em out with a sharp stiletto. That's how we roll baby.
...and Mamma Trish? Come join the fun!!!

muskrat said...

i'm not on there, but i'm moving in a few days anyway. you can be first to know the new URL: www.fathermuskrat.com

there. feel special?

Casey said...

Making my HASAY rounds and I wanted to check in with my favorite skan. I think we need a new word, skan is losing it's power due to overuse. How about skore. Skank/whore. Let's go with that for a bit. Get your butt on a treadmill skore.

Ron said...

Is it possible the Bee might be a tad too hard on herself? Blame it on lysdexia.

Lola said...

I'm there, which is all that really matters, right?

I'm so stealing your big, fat lazy belly, because I'm a lazy blogstess, too!

anymommy said...

That button is awesome. I have nothing else.

Wait...SIXTY THIRD!!! Take that Heinous.

anymommy said...

Oh also, I'm on there twice, which totally made me all tingly and happy, but was probably an accident. (Any Mommy and Is There Any Mommy Out There).

Seriously Mama said...

65th? Are you kidding me? I am hunting Cameron down and hiding him in a basement somewhere so I can have a better shot at 1st...

Momma Trish said...

I'm in?! Woot!! ;-)

chasingjoy said...

You SUCK so bad I already subscribed to you in my reader. I'd love it if you added my sucky blog. I don't have a stinkin blogroll yet but as soon as my hubby adds it I'll have the steenky sucky bee on there! Kiss kiss!

Rhea said...

Hell no, I do NOT want that award, thank you very much. It'll give me nightmares.

And it reminds me of my own hairy beer gut...lol

Ok, not really, but still...I see where the dark side could lead me.

Tara said...

Steenky, you're lazy and you suck and that's why I keep coming back. Sucker for punishment!

GreenJello said...

You totally suck for adding me to your blogroll... or is it the other way around?

Miss Jack said...

You've got me...I feel like a rock star! Wooo! Hoooo!

Lisa said...

As a so far below low list blogger (okay call me a NO LIST blogger) Im not on teh ol roll there but I just wantd to drop a line to say I am awarding myself your award for my lazy blog and linking back to you in it. So there ;)

And thank you for making an award for us the unawarded.

Signed,
Lazy

Meximom said...

I would totally love to be added to your blogroll! I am working on one myself and would like to add yours too! Love your blog. Totally hysterical.

Colepack said...

I am on there!!! I hate it when I do things like that. Mine is usually creating a large documment and then saying "no" to that stupid "DO you want to save?" question. That gets me every few months. Next time it happnes, I am pulling your fat dude.

Colepack said...

I am on there!!! I hate it when I do things like that. Mine is usually creating a large documment and then saying "no" to that stupid "DO you want to save?" question. That gets me every few months. Next time it happnes, I am pulling your fat dude.