July 5, 2008

Revenge Is Sweet And Sticky Like Soda

Sometimes your husband's family gets hungry. Sometimes they say to themselves, "Hey, why don't we cook some ridiculous ribs and make a whole lotta of potato salad?" After preparing said foods, they realize they need some help eating all the finger-lickin' goodness they have created so they call in some reinforcements in the form of family members.

When you get that rib/potato salad call, you are ready and you immediately jump into action. But you think to yourself, 'won't we be thirsty after eating all the delicious meat and potatoes?'. Sometimes, not every time, but sometimes, that answer is YES.

So you swing by the convenience store and pick up two bags full of so much soda pop. After all, your husband's family did call in reinforcements. A lot of people will need beverage refreshment.

But sometimes, not everyone answers their telephone. In fact, only you, your husband and your two children show up to eat food.

What to do with all the soda pop? Certainly four adults, one three year old and an eight month old can NOT down six 2-Liter bottles all in one sitting. You try to offer the left over soda as a kind gesture to your in-laws. They are having none of it. Your husband starts giving you Navy Seal signals from the corner instructing you to quickly gather up the kids without causing too much attention to yourself. You do as instructed.

On his signal, which in this case was, "Well, we better go. Love you guys!" you sweep Reesie up in your arms and throw Henry over your shoulder and get the he** out of their house before they notice you leaving without the soda.

You think you've all safely made it outside and to the safety of your getaway vehicle, when suddenly you see this coming down the driveway after you...

Oh, no! That Mother-in-Law must have seen through all the secret hand signs and trickery. She knows you are leaving the soda behind.

"Go, go, go! Start the car!" your husband shouts. You have no choice but to squeal those tires as you peel out of their driveway. You decide to temp fate and get a closer look at your clearly over matched Mother-in-Law as she desperately tries to unload the soda on you.

Sorry, Grandma Lauri. Not today.

You and your husband are so proud of yourselves on the way home. You high-five yourselves for a couple of miles down the road until your hands get sore.

But sometimes, In-laws have long memories and they have soda related revenge in store for you. They are cunning. They let a few days go by. When you come home from a long day at work, you find this on your doorstep...

At first you think some kindly stranger has left you a cold beverage as a treat. But you look closer and see the soda prankster's calling card.

Oh. I. Don't. Think. So.

Quickly, you and your husband put your heads together to formulate a plan so clever and so diabolical that you spend the rest of the night telling each other how awesome the other one is. Again, you high-five yourself until your hands are raw.

You let a few more days go by. Then one early morning your husband sneaks into his parents house and does this...

That's right folks, four liters of stale soda pop poured into 45 2-ounce plastic cups.
What's that? You say you want another look at that? How's about a bird's eye view? This is what sweet revenge looks like from up top.
This is what we look like. Poppin' and lockin' cause we're so awesome. Bring it.
Game on? I think it's game OVER!

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