August 4, 2008

If This Doesn't Make Us Closer I Don't Know What Will

You know how Oprah's mantra in seasons past has been "Renewing Your Spirit"? Jeremy and I have something similar, except we refer to it as "Renewing Our Love". We try to do it weekly, in public, with LOTS OF PEOPLE WATCHING. Before you conjure up images of us having sexy time somewhere like a Taco Bell parking lot, just stop. Stop. Although, there is a Taco Bell across the street from our building. I'm just saying.

But no, really, our ROL time is just a planned activity together like grabbing a lunch together, or driving to work together, or paying our bills online together. Romance, folks. Nothing says I love you quite like pressing that "send payment" button at the same time. Like, maybe our hands will accidentally brush and then we'll both quickly pull away because the heat is just too much. (Cue background music and fade lighting now). Maybe our eyes lock and we realize that we can't fight what we're feeling for each other right this minute. Hold up. What's going on? And why am I all flushed?

Online bill paying. Just keep thinking about online bill paying.

And just so you know, since Jeremy and I DO work in the same office, when we're planning our time together I refer to it exactly as "Renewing Our Love" as in, "I'm sorry, Random Coworker, I can't make that 1:00. Jeremy and I are renewing our love at noon and I don't think we'll be back." Now, does this make Jeremy a little uncomfortable? Yep. But so have many other things I've done throughout our marriage.

So, Internet, today I'm talking to you about our ROL sessions because I think I've found a new, and quite possibly the most perfect activity for Jeremy and I as a couple. It's called Ralley Car Racing. It consists of two people in one of those souped up foreign cars driving at an ridiculous high speeds through a street course as well as a stadium course complete with ramps, jumps and tight twisty turn thingys. The key to this sport is that there are TWO people in a car together, a driver and a co-driver. Obviously, the driver is doing the driving, the physical navigation of the car. But what I find most intriguing about this sport is the co-driver who is responsible for mapping and maintaining location on the course, directing the driver where to drive and cuing him in on upcoming conditions so that he can maintain high rates of speed. Oh, and did I tell you that the co-driver just so happens to be female most of the time?

That's right. There is a sport out there where a male and a female get in a car together, and the man drives erratically and at high rates of speed and his female passenger reads the map and alerts him to upcoming turns or obstacles in the road. And he WILlINGLY listens to her. The few races we watched, it was clear that the co-driver was an integral force in the strategy for what were time and time again referred to as "stellar drive times, dude!". It was all kinds of awesome to watch.

The co-driver would shout out directions with such authority. She was considered an expert on the course and she was listened to, damnit! (I secretly kept hoping that a fight would break out between the driving teammates, but let me assure you that it never happened.)

The way I see it, if Jeremy and I could get us some matching track suits, helmets and a couple of energy drink sponsors (are you listening Red Bull??) we would be unstoppable. I'd be all, "Minivan on the left! Merge right! Slow down!"

Well, actually, we'd need matching track suits, helmets, energy drink sponsors and Jeremy's willingness to actually listen to my driving directions. Sigh. I guess we should stick with bill paying after all. Do they have sponsors for that?

1 comment:

Captain Dumbass said...

Think if I let Mrs Dumbass read this she'll let me pimp the Man Van?