August 22, 2008

The Friday Five

For this week's "Five" I asked Jeremy to give me a list of five things he didn't like. He took a deep breath, gave me a thoughtful look and then proceeded to spew the following without stopping.

1. Gas Prices. No explanation necessary.
2. Proprietary Systems. He wouldn't offer an explanation here. He just sat and stared forward with hate in his eyes.
3. Colbee Caillat. Well, mostly her hat. He doesn't really know much about her or her music, he just hates that she often appears wearing a hat. I should let you know here, that Jeremy has a hard time understanding why anyone would wear anything other than a baseball hat. Me included. I had a visor phase a few years ago and he just won't let it drop.
4. Restaurants that don't serve Mountain Dew. Sure, we paid $50 a plate for that prime rib/lobster deliciousness but it wasn't a four star meal because Jeremy wasn't allowed to "Do the Dew" during dinner.
5. Mixed Songs or mash-ups. Jeremy claims that if the artist would have wanted it to sound that way they would have done it themselves. I don't have the heart to break it to him that sometimes artists hire someone to do that on their records and add them as bonus tracks.
6. Frisbee Golf. Again, this is a mix issue with Jeremy. He likes things black or white. Frisbee or Golf. When I asked Jeremy if he thought Tiger Woods ever played frisbee golf, he gave me the silent treatment for about 20 minutes.
7. The windmill clip on both McCain and Obama's ad. This troubles him so much, you guys. If he sees these adds come on television he'll stop what he's doing just to watch it, JUST to make himself angry. I can totally identify. I do the same thing with Sean Hannity.

*NOTE* It was right around this point that I signaled to Jeremy that I had my five things from him. In fact, I had more than I needed. He then announced he had a few more to add.

8. People that interrupt him while he's on a role. Umm. Guess that's me.
9. Not eating oysters every day. He loves 'em.
10. Not having bacon available. From time to time everyone says, "You know, we don't have enough *BLANK* in our diet." Typically, they are referring to something healthy, say like fiber, or iron or vegetables. Not Jeremy. He tells me almost weekly that he thinks his diet may be suffering from not enough bacon.


Captain Dumbass said...

Ok, first off, let me apologise. I was totally planning to giant spam your comments everyday but, ah...things came up.
Second, number 10 made me weep openly. Did you ever show hubby St. Anthony of the Blessed Bacon? Oh, and have you ever seen chocolate chip and bacon cookies? Sounds totally bizarre but I've seen a bunch on Supreme Leader's foodie-porn blogs, apparantly they're pretty good. Where am I going? Don't know, don't care. I'm just here to ramble today

If you're one of Steenky Bee's regulars, consider this a guest post. And if you're one of Steenky Bee's lurkers, leave her a comment. Go ahead, don't be afraid. It's easy. It makes everybody feel better. You'll feel better. Promise. Pinky swear.

Off on a tangent again, I know. But again, don't care.

1. Gas prices? Hell ya. I don't know what you drive, but my man van might as well have a tanker truck follow it around. You know how jet fighters refuel in the air? Kinda like that.
2. I got nothing so I'll segue into one of mine. People who can't make a left hand turn without drifting all the way across to the curb lane. YOU ARE NOT DRIVING A BUS! WFT? You're Nissan Sentra is not a dump truck. It's like crayons in a colouring book, keep it inside the lines. (Unless, you do this, because we're homies and I can overlook that for a friend)
3. Um, I kinda like Colbee Caillat and woman in hats... I don't know what it is, but it works. Wifey doesn't wear hats. She should, she'd totally get some. Then again, maybe that's why she doesn't.
4. Ahahaha
5. Totally with Jeremy.
6. Frisbee golf. Power walking.
7. I don't know, never seen these ads.
8. Shit! It's 8am which means I actually have to start working now. Man. I felt some rant coming on too. : (

Chris Wood said...

Hey Steenky Bee - thanks for stopping by. Did you enjoy the rest of the blog? Please tell me. Of course, you may be busy with other things.

Chocolate chip & bacon cookies? Captain Dumbass has upped the bar of gastronomy. Good man!

Chris Wood said...

PS Jeremy is right. Not enough bacon in your diet can lead to being a vegetarian, and then we would have to shoot him.

Vodka Mom said...

oh Jesus, my husband is a dew freak too.

Putz said...

my son will not go and order in a restuarant until he asks one question you have refillls...????.will my next refill be ready to serve in a minute or two..?????.in otherwards do not walk away from me..and that refill better be on my mountain dew...if he doesn't get that kind of satisfaction, he will not eat your twenty dollar steak

Putz said...

and yes i was on dads who mock the world, and i am from utarh and eat jello