This conversation actually happened at my house last night. For realsies.
Jeremy: Jen, there's something about me that I don't think I've ever told you.
Me: (a little distracted because I'm watching television) What?
Jeremy: There's something I think you should know about me.
Me: Alright. What is it?
Jeremy: I'm a witch with the pogo stick.
Me: (stunned silence)
Jeremy: No, really, if I had a stick, I'd show you.
Oh how I wish I had a stick right about now.